Grandbabies, Moving, a Marriage and a Graduate...Oh My!

Today is June 15, so we are half way through the month that marks the halfway point of the year. That means that six months of 2013 are gone. History. What? How did that happen? Where have I been? Well, I've become a grandma, a mother-in-law, drastically downsized, and celebrated my youngest stepson's graduation. All within four months. Doesn't seem like that much to look at what I just typed but mercy-sakes-alive I feel like I've just escaped a hurricane...albeit mostly unscathed. 

I've wanted to blog more, but there just hasn't been time. Too much to do! I can't remember too much of the first quarter of the year...I was holed up and hibernating as usual. Except for March 28, when our first grandchild was born. No way I'd forget that! That little guy started out at 4 lbs and 7 oz...

Grandpa and Jr, just a couple days old
and soooo tiny!

...but look at him now: 

Isn't he precious? He's about 2 1/2 months here and almost 9 pounds!
He's also rolled over already and just continues to amaze us all.

 He is just so cool. I get all verklempt every time I'm around him. Just love him to pieces! And I'm completely proud of his parents, they are doing a great job!

April started off with a few trips to the hospital as the grandbaby was there for a bit (born 6 weeks early). The next thing I know, we are moving out of our ginormous, old, five bedroom house and into a super cute teeny, tiny two bedroom. Thank goodness it was only six blocks away, that made the move so easy. Still, I had a house full of stuff I didn't want to move and had to get rid of, plus deciding what I could and wanted to keep, get it packed and all that fun stuff that goes with moving. Makes me tired to just reflect on it. 

Here's a virtual "tour" of our new digs:

The "Cracker Box", which sounds infinitely better than
"Sardine Can". 

The Welcoming Committee, sans furball
Say hello, Sister and Mister

Step inside into the kitchen, which is about half of
the downstairs. Seriously. So actually it's a pretty
nice size, as long as  you have a small table. Which
We do. We also have a Mister who loves to be in
every picture. And a dishwasher! I'm in heaven!

This is Friday, so I have our table ready for the start of Shabbat.
Since it stays light until midnight these days, thanks to my
favorite Dumb Stupid Time, we do our Sabbath-welcoming
around sundown, looooooonnnnggg after supper. No, we are
not Jewish, we just desire to honor Yahweh's commandments
and I don't see anywhere in His word that the Sabbath was
changed from the seventh day, so we honor the Sabbath and
rest on Saturday. It's wonderful!

Moving on, we have Mister and Sister and the furball in the
living room. There is just enough room for the four of us
to lounge around, but still room for company! We just have
to sit vertically, is all.

Not sure if this gives any indication of size, but it's the view from
the other end.

Not much to show here, it's a teeny, tiny bathroom.
When Sister saw it she said "That's not a bathroom,
that's a closet with a toilet in it". Apparently, the
tub and sink are extraneous. 

Going upstairs, you land in the kids' "room". Yes,
they share a room. I was concerned a bit that it
might prove to be disastrous, but really, it's going
exceptionally well. Mister stays out of Sister's stuff,
which is a miracle. Sister wisely reduced her
possessions to something more managable.

Our room is the other room upstairs-with the door. I
wish the cable hook up thing was on the other side of the
room, it would have a better "flow" to have the bed
against the other wall, I think. Since we have about
five miles of co-ax cable crammed behind the tv, I'm
thinking we could pull it off. Not sure I want to ask
Hubby to move furniture yet, though. I love the cozy
feel of this space. And, I found a use for the homemade
wrap I used to carry Mister around in when he was a
baby...as a "swag" valance, I think that's what you'd
call it. Mister is sharing his ducks and blankets with
me, isn't that so sweet? 

The tiny-ness of the house is balanced out with a humongous
back yard. We're going to put in a fire pit some time soon.
We love campfires! If we were going to live here longer, or buy it
I'd want to put in a garden.

Lots of potential here for flowers and stuff...if I had a proclivity
for that sort of thing instead of killing plants! I have a pallet there
leaning up against the house that I plan to plant culinary herbs
in, as soon as I can get to it. And look...central air!! Aaaahhh

So, instead of a regular kind of garden, I have a Container
Salsa Garden on my back steps. A couple of Roma type tomato
plants, a cherry tomato, two bell peppers and two hot peppers.
I have some mint growing in the window well to the left. Just

got them planted...late as usual, but hopefully we'll have enough 

to do some spaghetti sauce, pizza sauce and salsa!

If you have known me for any length of time, you know that organization has never really been what you'd call my "strong suit." I think I did a pretty good job of letting go of things we really didn't need. I know that my husband was surprised a few times with how easily I agreed to get rid of some things. Truth be told, I was surprised too. There was still a lot of work involved to get things packed and moved (in less than two weeks), plus unpacking and figuring out where to put things. 

The task now will be to not accumulate a bunch of stuff in the year or so we live here before we head west. I know that this move, I reduced things to things I didn't want to live without in this new home. The next move will require more difficult decisions, because neither one of us wants to move all this stuff across the country. When it comes right down to it though, there isn't that much that I couldn't walk away from if need be. I'm going to take time over the next year to find and consolidate those precious things that can't be replaced...ultrasound pictures of the kids and special mementos and such...and limit myself to what will fit in a decent sized box. As we get closer to moving, I'll do the same with books and other things that I would like to take but need to take less of. The kitchen things will be kind of hard though, cast iron pans are almost irreplaceable...when you consider the time and effort put into seasoning and maintaining them!

It's nice to know that I am less attached to "stuff" than I used to be. I think I used to see my "things" as part of me in a sense, and it was hard to get rid of them with that kind of perspective. Now when I look around, I just see stuff for the most part. And stuff is just stuff...it has no power over me other than what I give to it. 

The night we moved into our new home, Number One Son stopped by to tell us he and his fiancee were getting married...the next day at 4:00 in a town an hour away. Hubby didn't take that so well, but in his defense he was exhausted from moving all day! And to spring something like that on him at that moment...well...yeah. Thankfully, they put it off a couple of days at least so we could be there. There was no way we could have been there on the original day, so I'm glad they moved it so at least some of his family could be there.

Mr and Mrs Number One. Hoping and praying for a long,
happy marriage for them!

Next up, my youngest stepson's graduation! Of course that meant planning and putting on an open house, for which I agreed to make meatballs. I love making meatballs, really! I had 15 pounds of venison and hamburger I mixed up to make them. Yum! Hubby cooked up some chicken wings at his job, and their famous Pit-tatoes...which I discovered are NOT gluten free. So, consuming those and veggie dip made with Hidden Valley Ranch dressing mix (which I discovered AFTER I ate it...) and coupled with several days of extreme busyness before and after the party...well, I felt pretty much like I got run over by a very large truck. It took several days for me to "recover"! But it was a great party, our Marine was able to come back and surprise his brother, my Arizona in-laws were here and got to meet their GREAT-grandson, and my stepson made out like a bandit. Plus, the weather was absolutely gorgeous! Our Marine's high school graduation and open house two years ago was in weather reminiscent of what I imagine sitting in the foyer of hell would be like. Sooooo hot!

Four generations of Yoder boys! Jr is on Great Grandpa's lap,
next to Grandpa with Mister, and our Marine. In back are
the Graduate and the Number One Son, who recently made
me a mother in law. It was so nice to have all the boys
together again!

So, yeah...I've been kind of busy. I think that finally, things are put together well enough, although there's a few projects that I have yet to complete. They aren't essential, but I'm hoping I can get them done. And I love having waaaay less space to maintain. Housework is getting done in half the time, or less, and everything pretty much has a home. I have really enjoyed this Sabbath, because I really felt like I could REST. Last Sabbath was not restful at all, but I enjoyed the opportunity to be a blessing to our Graduate very much. Today, I could just rest and not even think about anything on any "to-do" list. Aaahhh...

Before I sign off...I must leave you with another picture of our sweet grandbaby...I just can't get enough of him!

Another New Year, What's New?

It's hard to believe yet another year has flown by! My baby will be FIVE next month, my firstborn will be THIRTEEN...my head is spinning. There's been many changes in the last year or so, mostly in the spiritual and emotional areas for me. Good ones, thankfully! 

As God continues to bring healing and restoration in my "inner man", my housekeeping improves. I realized this week that it actually bothers me to have dirty dishes piled up. Oh, it "bothered" me before...just not enough to motivate me much to do something about it until I absolutely had to. This is definitely a new, and welcomed, development.

God has been opening my eyes about some things, which I plan to blog about in the coming months. It's amazing what happens when you let go of what you have always believed to be true...what you've always been taught or assumed is true...and allow Yahweh to reveal the truth that He established in the beginning.

We have some big milestones approaching...a high school graduation, a grandbaby on the way, another one leaving the nest, a new teenager in the family. I'm looking forward to what this year has to offer...and I'm sure when I look back this time next year, it unfolded differently than I thought it would. Life has a funny way of operating like that.

Once again, we've made changes in the area of food and nutrition...some rather begrudgingly in the beginning, but are turning out to be good changes. I've got another new "tool" in my kitchen...check out my post at my nutrition blog, Purposeful Nourishment, on Perpetual Broth.

I continue to try and purge the clutter in the house. It now seems to be mostly contained to closets, porches (ugh...that front porch I spent so much time cleaning is in need of another purging but it's not as bad as the last time!!), unused rooms and some corners. I cleaned out the desk today, and while there is still too much in the drawers and files, I threw out a trash bag full of papers and junk that I'd been holding on to..."just in case." Every time I go through the desk, I am able to let go of a little more. I know what would really kick me in gear is to get a different desk. Then I would HAVE to get rid of stuff!

I have a load of stuff to take to Goodwill, but since I haven't been there in quite some time, I haven't taken it with me when I leave town. I should just take it down to the drop off box here in town. I'll have to add that as a weekly task to my S.H.E. system...which I've been using again with success. The dishes are done and the house in order when I go to bed unless there's just been some kind of crazy going on here. And since that just neeeevvveeerrr happens....well, it has happened a bit less it seems, since I've been more on top of my game around here lately. 

New Year's Resolutions have never been my thing, and this year is no different. I just have an overall goal, every year, to become and do better than what I was and did last year. Not so overwhelming when I think of it like that!

I hope you have had a positive start to 2013, and whatever comes your way you will be strong and equipped to handle it. Here's to a great year!!

S.O.S. Challenge Update

It’s finally September! I so long for the shorter days, the crispness in the air and the lovely scent of autumn on the wind. The urge to bake is revving up again, and I dream of breads and anything pumpkiny emerging from my oven once more. Sigh…

It’s also the beginning of my Sick Of Stuff decluttering challenge that I’ve recently imposed upon myself. Are you curious about how I’m doing? Let me tell you!

Even though I said I would officially start this September 1st, I found myself loading up bags and boxes of Stuff in the last couple weeks of August and taking them to Goodwill. One drawback of dropping stuff off at the store I usually go to is that they give you coupons. They always ask, and actually, I could say no, but…well, I just don’t. I will have to work on that. The good news is that even though I did shop there a couple times, I brought back home WAY less than I took in, so I’m still ahead.

It’s a good thing I started early, though, because my dear honey hurt his back at work the other day so I’ve been busy taking care of him, plus we just had a few busy days already this month and I haven’t taken out a bag or box every day so far. It’s only the 5th, and I’m pretty sure that what I took out in August covers all of September so far. And, today I dropped off two garbage bags of Stuff – one I had loaded in the van last night but forgot to drop off while we were out, and one large, black trash bag full of toys and kid’s books and some things in my kitchen I finally decided I could let go of because actually, I hated them. I don’t know why I hung on to that infernal Pampered Chef potato masher that I couldn’t stand for so long. Every time I used it I grumbled about how much I didn’t like it. But now, it’s gone, and the things in the drawer it once resided in are all things that I use often and don’t make me mad.

I look around at all the things I KNOW I could get rid of, and still feel that “but I might need it some day” urge to hold on to them. It’s a process, I know, but I’m trying not to get overwhelmed by the bigness of it. I’m trying to focus on what can I part with right now, today? Even if it is just one thing, that is one less thing cluttering up my space and collecting dust.

Books will be the hardest to part with. And I know, I could get a Kindle or something, but I just love real, honest to goodness books. I love the feel of them, the smell of them (as long as they don’t smell musty, dusty or smoky!) and you just don’t get that in a Kindle. But many of those books don’t get read, so I’m just going to have to find a way to part with them one way or another. I thought maybe it would be a good winter project – read a book one more time for old time’s sake and then find a new home for it.

Overall, I am happy with what I’ve done so far. I don’t know that you can see a huge difference, but just knowing I’ve removed a bunch of Stuff that I didn’t love or use feels great. You can, however, see a big difference in the toy area and the shelf where we keep the kid’s books. It’s progress, and that’s always a good thing.

I’m going to continue to remove something from my home every day, even if it just gets to the back of the van to go to Goodwill, at least it is out of the house. I will remember to drop it off every week, since I’ll have to have room for groceries. “Odd-sized trash” week is coming up for our town, so I hope to have some trash to load up out front.

Well, there you have it, folks. I’m plugging away at my challenge and am trying to keep focused on the wide, clear, open space I long to have in my home – so I can breathe!

It’s Over,Facebook. For Real This Time

About three years ago, I entered into a relationship with Facebook. It was fun at first. Became an obsession for a while. Then, things began to change. Subtle at first. Things you get used to after a while, and forget why you were so irritated to begin with by the change. But this time, Facebook crossed the line.

I knew it was coming. The signs were everywhere. Other people were talking about it. It’s not like I had no warning at all. But, when I still hadn’t been Timelined, I thought maybe they had forgotten about me. Or, maybe they were afraid of me…as I am not afraid to complain about things I don’t like. Just ask anyone who knows me about my feelings on Mitch Daniels and Daylight Savings Time Dumb Stupid Time. It’s been like six years since that stupid practice was forced down my throat and I still hate it. Loathe it. Detest it. But, that is a rant reserved for for two times a year. The second time is coming in approximately 65 days. Yes, I count the days until we cast off the insanity and resume to normal time keeping. Which is in 69 days, but I usually post something about it a few days ahead.

I digress. Stupidity makes me do that.

There are some people who actually like the new Timeline format. Others don’t care one way or the other. And many, many who hate it. Those who like it accuse those who hate it of just being resistant to change and we should just suck it up and get over it already. These are probably the same people who say we need to be tolerant of other people’s views. Hmpf. Just another example of the bigotry of the Tolerance religion – we must respect other people’s views and beliefs…except when they differ from Ours.

I have good reasons for leaving Facebook – for real, for good – this time. I’ve been trying to break free from the FB habit for some time, but I must admit it has a pull, a certain addictive quality, that makes it difficult to break away. Much like leaving a cult…or a gang. Or trying to kick a $3000 a day cocaine habit. There’s just something about it that makes us feel good.

Is it because we are all incredibly nosey curious? Is it because we are somehow able to feel a sense of connectedness, of community, of family, better over a cold and impersonal internet connection than we can with the people around us who are warm, breathing, bodies of flesh?

Some say that “It's been suggested that people who love Timeline are narcissistic, because Timeline makes it a pleasure to design and curate a digital timeline of your life.” I would also suggest that Facebook in general appeals to the narcissist in all of us. Finally, we have a free forum in which to espouse our many views on life and religion and politics, mostly free from reprisal. We are instantly “published” without the thoughtful work that goes writing a book, or even a quality blog post – spur-of-the-moment status updates can be the equivalent of diarrhea of the mouth. And, if we don’t like what someone says about our obviously superior views, we can delete their comments and unfriend them. Problem solved.

Yes, I’m just as guilty as anyone for spouting off my views on Facebook. And I believe I am right about what I believe…why would I post something I don’t believe to be true? Or morally right? And yes, I have the audacity to disagree with other beliefs and views. I have the audacity to believe they are wrong, at times. That is my view, my belief, and it is just as valid as the opposing views and beliefs, right? According to almighty Tolerance, it should be.  However, anyone with any kind of intelligence and discernment (and a Facebook page) can see that “Tolerance” is rather one-sided.

Again…I digress. Induced by the stupidity of hypocritical “tolerance.”

All of this rambling is to say that I’m just completely over the whole Facebook experience. Facebook doesn’t care about its users, it cares about turning a profit. It does that by selling information that users readily hand over. There is no such thing as privacy on the internet, regardless of “privacy policies”…if you go online, you have to give out information at some point. If you choose to do that, then you can’t whine because someone else does something with it. The world is full of unscrupulous people, greedy people, people with cold hearts that only care about themselves. It’s not a world I want to be a part of, frankly.

Facebook takes up too much time. I’ve had several occasions where I quit logging in (but didn’t deactivate my account) because the dishes weren’t getting done and people were running out of clean underwear. That just really isn’t good. I’m a SAHM, my job is to take care of my family and home. Anything that interferes with that just really has to go.

Sometimes, it takes something drastic to get us to change our bad habits and selfish ways. When Facebook decided that every user would be forcibly switched to the new Timeline, I decided that was it. I will not change voluntarily, and when they do switch me, I’m pulling the plug on my FB account. Surprisingly, it took the better part of a year for them to get around to changing my profile. As providence would have it, it was at the beginning of the month of Elul on the Hebrew calendar. A month dedicated to reflection, repentance, prayer and study. And there is just no room in all of that for the distraction of Facebook.

I will, of course, miss some things. Or, people, rather…as a Marine parent, the support of a Marine Moms group on FB has been amazing, and I’ve met some terrific ladies there. I have family around the country, as well as friends, that I rarely see, but can easily connect with on FB. Why is that not enough to keep me on there? Because real relationships require cultivation and maintenance. They require work. It is much more meaningful to get a real, honest to goodness letter from someone instead of a quick post on their “wall” or a tag in a comment somewhere. It says you care enough about THEM to take time out of your day to make an effort to let them know they are important to you. It’s not easy in this busy, electronic world we live in, true…but I think we need to reclaim some compassionate humanity and let go of cold, electronic indifference.

I can not, of course, end this without addressing another large reason for telling FB to go jump off a cliff. As someone who does not particularly like change all that much, I most definitely do not like it forced on me. My inner child stomps her feet and fumes and pouts and spouts off about it. You can’t make me like or accept something by forcing it on me. And to think that everyone on FB is going to blindly accept whatever you throw at them is just ridiculous. At least for now…the sheeple are coming along, of course. But this woman is no sheeple and I will not be “coming along”.

Not having the ball and chain of Facebook around my ankle has been nice. I’m kind of in a deprogramming mode – I want to log in, to see if anyone misses me, to see what I missed…and yet, I don’t. I thought I’d log in after a week to retrieve some information, like a message I recently received that I want to keep, some email addresses of people I really want to stay in contact with, and tie up some loose ends in a group I created. But, I’m liking not being on Facebook so much, I just might not!

So, for those who think I’m just being silly and resistant to change…well, think what you want. Facebook is not mandatory (yet…have you seen this about a German article? Apparently, people who DON’T have a FB or other social networking account might be “suspicious”. I just might be on a List somewhere now since I don’t have a Facebook…) so I don’t have to have a FB account if I don’t want to. And I have no interest trading my personal information to use a site that forces me into a box of conformity. I would think that for the valuable trade-off of personal information to feed to their  advertisers, Facebook could at least throw its users a bone and allow for some personalization. Give them a choice in the matter, so they don’t feel so…violated. Make them feel like you care and they might not complain so much.

Bottom line is…I have a real life. Sorry, Facebook…it’s you, and you have to go. And don’t ever call me again, I mean it.

The S.O.S. Challenge

S.O.S. can mean several different things...Save Our Schools, HELP!!!, Switched On Schoolhouse. Anything with an S-O-S configuration, really. Right now, for me, it is an acronym for Sick Of Stuff. It's time to get serious about Stuff around here.

As I've gotten older, wiser, and more free of debilitating emotional issues, I have found that I'm somehow a better housekeeper. Do not read I'm A Perfect Housekeeper and My Home Should Be Featured In BHG there, please! I just mean that my home does not look like my bedroom did as a child...most of the time. If the kids have been running amok, well, it might look kind of like that. But, in general, you can see the floor and dont' have to walk on Stuff or shovel a path through Stuff to get around. The OTHER horizontal surfaces around here, however, typically have lots of Stuff on them. And I hate it.

For instance, my kitchen counter is a long L-shape wth a stove at one end. There is a particular corner that I have dubbed The Black Hole. Not sure why, actually - black hole implies that things go in and are never seen again. I guess it's more of the Event Horizon thing...if it gets close to that particular area, it ends up on The Pile. I do usually see it again, when I get sick of the Overflowingness and decided to "declutter" the Black Hole. 

I have wanted Simplify for a long time, but I'm not sure what has held me back...and still does.  When I'm away from our home, say at church for example, I get this overwhelming desire to go home and start Chucking Stuff. I feel up to it, I feel Inspired and Motivated. And, I get home and find that I just can't do it. Even though I haven't touched the papers in a certain file in my file cabinet for at least two years, I can't bring myself to throw them away. It's pathetic. 

Yet I long to be Free Of Stuff. I hate the choking, claustrophobic feel of all these things. Things that gather dust. Things that stare at me and remind me how disorganized I am. Things I am in bondage to, because I can not throw them out or give them away. Things that aren't worth much of anything, really. Sometimes, I think about things like What if there was a Natural Disaster and We Lost Everything. Would I survive? Of course I would. I don't really NEED most of this stuff! 

And so, I have decided to challenge myself to fill up a box or bag every day of Stuff to remove from my home. Whether it goes to the trash can, consignment shop or thrift store doesn't matter. It doesn't even matter what size of box or bag, as long as something goes out of the house every day.  It's just got to go. I'm calling it the SOS Challenge. I'm going to start this September 1, 2012...feel free to join me and share what your're doing! 

I love freecycle, but I can't wait around for people who may or may not show up to collect whatever I'm freecycling....I know myself too well. That may work for you, but it won't for me. There's a Goodwill drop box a few blocks from me, and if I have a small bag, I can also get some exercise and ride my bike down to drop it off. I also go to an area that has a Goodwill store (and I get coupons when I drop off my donations...wait, that would probably work against me!). And if nothing else, I can set it out by the road with a "FREE" sign and it will probably be gone in no time. 

Any challenge needs an outline, rules, goals....I'm going to think on those things and post what I come up with in a few days. For now, I have to work on psyching myself up for this challenge. To get rid of whatever it is that hinders me so I can get rid of all this Stuff that does not make me happy or serve a useful purpose in my life. 

Spring Brings Renewal…Under My Kitchen Sink

Do you have one (or more) of those areas in your home that most of the time goes unnoticed, even though you use it frequently? Do you ever think, every now and then, “I ought to do something about that”…and then, don’t? I must confess to having too many of those areas, but one such disaster zone got a makeover this week…yep, Spring makes me want to fix things up. Take a look…

The cabinet under my kitchen sink is something that is used nearly every day here. The dish drainer and dishpans are stored there, as well as dirty towels and dishcloths, various cleaning supplies, and who knows what else. We moved here about three and a half years ago, and while it’s embarrassing to admit, I’ve never cleaned under there! I would notice that it needs to be done, but that’s as far as it got. 

There, I confessed…feels good to get that off my chest.

I bought a new dish drainer recently, so I could pass the old one (that I’ve hated since I bought it I don’t know how many years ago) on to Number One who is moving into his first apartment in a few days. It’s larger than the other one, and subsequently does not fit in the space the old one did. So, I was forced to pull everything out of there…and come face-to-face with the grim reality that it was, indeed, time to clean under there. See for yourself:

After painting and putting some floor tile down under there, I commented  about it on Facebook.  A friend of mine asked me why I painted under the sink because nobody sees it. My response to her was that I see it…in fact, I see it every day and even though after a while the jumbled, disorganized disaster under there quit registering when I opened the cabinet doors, in the back of my mind that little voice nagged and condemned me. And so, I did something about it and shut up that voice. See…nothing to complain about now:

And now, I only have the things I really need and use under there…

Well, I take that back…I do need to empty the dirty towel bucket and do some laundry…but, aside from that, it is neat and tidy under there now. Much, much better! And, there’s one less thing for Miss You’ll-Never-Be-Good-Enough to use against me…

The Emptying Nest

I feel funny writing something “empty nest” related. I mean, I’m not even 40 yet and our youngest just turned three. But, as it often is with blended families, we have the whole gamut here in age ranges: 20, 18, 16, 10 and 3.

We’ve had our share of difficulties over the years, some unbelievably hard…the kind that can kill a marriage and rip a family apart. But, by the grace and faithfulness of God we weathered each storm that came our way…unfortunately, not completely intact but still, not completely destroyed either. There is still hope.

Now we are entering into what will be a very long season of nest-emptying. The oldest is moving out by the end of the month. I wish that it was happening under better circumstances, but choices were made and consequences followed as is the way of things. The next oldest, although he doesn’t live with us, is leaving for Marine boot camp (HOO-RAH!!) in September…and going all the way to the other side of the world in California.

All these birdies flying the nest cause me to become quite introspective. As most parents do, I have many regrets. All of our good intentions didn’t always turn out the way we intended. And some of the issues we had to deal with along the way made it excruciatingly difficult to be the parents these fine young men needed. Now, they are about to enter the big, bad world on their own.

They will make their own choices…how much that reflects on us and our parenting skills is not quite clear for me. On one hand, we, as parents, have had set before us the task of teaching them right from wrong and to model how to be a responsible and productive citizen. We should teach them to be compassionate and care for others, to be good stewards of God’s creation, and to have impeccable integrity. When we succeed in those areas, they can learn well…and when we fail in those areas, they learn as well.

Then we have the other hand…

They will make their own choices…

And, chances are, at least some of those choices would not be ones we would make. Or possibly choices anyone should make. These young men are perfectly capable of making good choices and being responsible. Whether or not they do is up to them. It’s hard to let go and let them be themselves.

I am fully prepared to be proud of their successes. That part is very easy. But how will I react…or respond, rather, when they fail? I don’t want to sound like I expect them to fail…it’s just a fact of life that people in general make mistakes and fail at things. And when you’re a young adult out on your own for the first time, the world can be a minefield of potential mistakes. How do we respond when they step on one of those and - God forbid – get hurt?

Natural Consequences are wonderful teachers. They do a better job of teaching than Advice From Parents. I don’t know why I get so irritated when the 20 year old asks for advice then does the complete opposite. But then, the nurturing part of a parent’s heart doesn’t want to see their children get hurt and wants to swoop in and rescue them when they do. It’s so fine, that line between helping and enabling!

Really, the best advice I can  think of is to remember that God is in control all the time. And when His children, which is exactly who our children are, mess up, He is there to gently correct and guide and to bind up the wounds of the brokenhearted. My job as parent will move from taking care of the immediate here-and-now needs…the never-ending need for food and shelter and clean underwear and food (did I mention BOY at all?) to a 24/7 need for prayer and support. The trick is knowing how support without hindering or enabling. For that, prayer is also quite handy…as long as I listen to what God is saying…

And so…while I would be fibbing if I didn’t admit that I’m looking forward to Number One moving out, since we don’t exactly get along famously, still, there is a sense of unease and a sudden desire to protect him building within me. Regardless of our differences and the list of things that annoy us about each other, he is still my family. I still want to see him succeed. I still want the best for him. And I am still grieved by the circumstances that have launched his foray into the big, bad world.

Number Two won’t be leaving for several months yet, and we still have his high school graduation to look forward to, his open house to plan, and a summer to spend with him yet…unless, of course, he is too busy working. But, at least he’ll be around and we can see him more easily than when he’s a zillion miles away in California.

My mind, which contains the vapors of mistakes made mere years ago, takes those memories of failures and hairs-of-chinny-chin-chins and weaves them into what could become in the months and years ahead for these boys. I don’t want them to repeat my own mistakes, or the mistakes of their parents…but I can’t control them and micromanage their lives. They alone must responsibly use and manage the freedom that adulthood brings.

So, for now, I will plan on spending more time in prayer for these young men. And start making plans on what to do with Number One’s room when he moves out…

Make it Yourself and Save Money!

I just added a post to my Purposeful Nourishment blog on making your own cream of mushroom soup, plus I've included a recipe for Taco Seasoning and my mother in law's famous Burrito Casserole. Come check it out!

Kicking the Can(ned Cream of Mushroom Soup): A Healthy Alternative + 2 BONUS Recipes!

Christian Homekeeper's Journal ~ June 22

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What’s going on in my kitchen this week …..is not a whole lot, really. I recently realized that I'm kind of bored with food, although this has not kept me from eating it. I haven't been making meal plans...supper time rolls around and I have no plan, nothing sounds good to eat...yet somehow, I manage to come up with something. The dishes seem to have a mind of their own and one minute the counters are clean, the next they are covered in dirty dishes...or so it seems.

This week, I have simply not been able to get a handle on ……housework, particularly of the kitchen variety. This is largely due to a change in some medication that I take for high blood pressure. The last several days, for about 3-4 hours after I take my pill in the morning, I am about worthless. So very tired and unmotivated. Today wasn't quite as bad, but I did end up going back to sleep after my hubby went to work instead of staying up and trying to get something done, like laundry and dishes.

It's so hot here …..I think I could bake a cake on my back porch. It's brutal in the late afternoon!

If I could have a pantry built to order ….. it would have lots of shelves, big windows to let in fresh air while I worked, lots of counter space for kneading bread or whatever, lots of little drawers for organization (I always imagine the pantry that Manly built for Laura Ingalls Wilder in The First Four Years (I think that's the book...the one where they house he built for her catches fire and burns down), nice cool tile floor, and everything neatly organized.

The one place other than where I am that I might like to live is …..a place that is partly sunny, 77 degrees with a slight breeze all year round. Nice hammock weather. But since that place only exists in my mind, I guess I might like to live in the mountains somewhere, in a little cabin that we build ourselves...with a gorgeous view of a crystal clear mountain lake. And no bears. LOL...

The most comfortable shoes I have ever had …..are the beat up old Eastland sandals I bought back in the mid 90's. I still have them....I refuse to throw them out, but I need to see if I can get them repaired as the one side of one of the sandals is coming apart. They've been everywhere with me, even hiking in the Appalachian foothills. My bestest friend since kindergarten thinks they are unsanitary, but I love them. They fit my feet just exactly right! I haven't worn them in a few years though (the lack of tread makes them slightly dangerous. I should just wear them around the house...) so I'm sure any germs have died off by now!

My favorite things about summer ….. well, since I can't stand the sun, the heat, the humidity, and Dumb Stupid Time (DST) that was forced upon our state (by a Governor who didn't give a hoot what the people of Indiana wanted) sometimes it's hard to remember there are good things about summer. I love tomatoes fresh off the vine, still warm from the sun. I love to make my family's legendary "California Salad"...it just tastes like summer, and it's only really good when tomatoes are in season, don't bother with store bought tomatoes! I love cool melons, fresh veggies and fruits...sunsets witnessed on bike rides with my daughter...and those wonderful, yet often rare, days where it's just perfectly warm enough, but not too hot, to take a nap under a big ol' shade tree.

I know I need to ……quit staying up so late. Stay on top of the housework. Spend more time with my Bible and its Author. Play with my kids more. Not beat myself up because I'm not getting it right all the time. Yah, relax a little...it's ok really.

Organization: Decisions and Holy Grails

Today, I looked at my desk. It looked back...mocking me. I decided I wasn't going to let my desk 'dis' me like that. And I had a re-visitation of starry host singing hallelujah and radiant glory shining down upon me. And behold, a revelation on how to decide what to title the six sections in my (possible) Holy Grail of Organizational Tools for the Piler, the Pendaflex Smartfile appeared! It was so simple, it was practically absurd.

Thou shalt start sorting through the papers on thy desk and see what kind of piles develop. Then shall thee consolidate, if necessary, to achieve Six Categories. When thou hast discovered the Six Categories,  label the Index Sheet with the categories in the most logical (for thou) order...frequency of use. Then shall thou becomest organized.

My messy desk before...

This is what I came up with to label my new best friend, Mr. Pendaflex

 And this is my nice, clean desk. It did NOT take me six hours to clean this time! It took about an hour and a half, including interruptions from the children. 

  

This is our bill organizing system. It has actually worked very well. I try to empty the old bills every 3-6 months.

We keep everything we need to manage the bills in there...calculator, paper, pencils, etc. so it's just grab it and get to work without searching all over the house for stuff (usually). There are pockets of resistance to clutter in my home...hoping to change that to just pockets of clutter resisting organization!

So, desk, take that. I am now Organized...and everyone else...check back again to see how well the Pendaflex Pilesmart Project Sorter has lived up to its Holy Grail-ness...

This is not a solicited endorsement of the Pendaflex PileSmart Project Sorter. I just really think I found something that will work this time!

Homekeeper's Journal ~ June 8, 2010

This is my definition of “Homekeeping” Managing effectively all the activities and necessities that make our home 'home'...meals, laundry, cleaning, organizing, fixing, finding, etc. are all an important part of keeping the home, but creating and maintaining a peaceful, loving, God-honoring atmosphere is just as important, if not most important. Now, if I could just manage to actually do that consistently...

My favorite place to practice the profession of homekeeping is...when I first read this one, I thought "Home, of course!" But my favorite place in our home to practice the profession of homekeeping is the kitchen, the heart of my home. I love to cook. I love to eat. I love the fragrances and textures of the meals I put together. I love a challenge, sometimes making dinner is on the order of Biblical Proportions - making something out of nothing. I love doing the best I can to feed my family healthy, nourishing foods. And I love spending time with my daughter, showing her how to bake, cook, and be a keeper at home.

I do/do not find joy in keeping my home and I think the reason is...I enjoy it because it is my calling, what I was created to do. It gives me deep satisfaction when my home is orderly, peaceful, and functioning smoothly. I don't enjoy it when there is chaos, disorder and disharmony...especially when I have to accept that it is my responsibility to establish peace, order and harmony in my home and I am not able to do it, either because I am slacking or procrastinating or being selfish about 'my' time and 'my' rights or because others in the home are less than cooperative.

At this point in my life, this is what I believe my children, husband and/or other family members think about our home….people tell me our home is cozy, homey, welcoming. Yet I tend to focus on the things that I didn't do and should have, the things I wish were different. I think my family recognizes that I do a better job of homekeeping than I ever have, although there is still lots of room for improvement.

The things I wish someone had told me about homekeeping when I was young...is that it takes a lot of planning and forethought to effectively manage a home. And when I'm the mom, it's my job...not my mother's. She is not going to come and clean my house for me!

The messages that I received about homemaking and being a wife/mother when growing up were...my mom worked all of my life. I didn't think much of it because that's just the way it was. But I suppose if I had consciously picked up on a message it would be that you do what you have to do. My parents divorced and my mom had to work, but even after my parents remarried each other, she still worked. God wasn't a big part of our lives, so I had no idea what God's ideal plan for wives and mothers was.

6 blessings that God has given me this week are...the book The Way Home, by Mary Pride, a change in my heart attitude toward my children and my role in the home, seeing my husband handle a difficult situation with one of his sons in a godly and effective manner, provision, precious time with my children, a repentant heart.

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