Thursday, April 7, 2011

Real (Spiritual) Health Care Reform


Sometimes conversations with God are, well, interesting. He always knows best, yet still gives us the freedom to choose. Here’s a bit of a chat God and I had this morning…

“Do you see that right there?”

“Yes, God…that’s that thing behind what I hate in myself…that thing that drives me to be what I don’t want to be”

“It’s a very deep, very old wound. You don’t even know what, exactly, it is.”

“Do I need to know?”


“We’ve had this conversation before, haven’t we?”

“Yes, child, we have. Have you noticed I never say ‘How many times do I have to tell you…’?”

“Yes, God…thanks for that…”

“Are you ready to be free? Are you ready to let me remove that thing? It might be kind of painful…”

“Well, I think so…I mean, yes, I want to be free…but I’m not crazy about the painful part. Do you mean like you’re going to reach in and rip it out real quick, or I’ll be splayed out on the operating table for hours…days...weeks...months...years?”

“It’s up to you.”

From there, I proceeded to outline precisely the types of pain I did not wish to experience and possible procedures that I felt would not be helpful at all in the removal and healing of this deep-seated wound. Isn’t that something…me telling the One who knit me together in my mother’s womb how to fix me…when I don’t even fully understand the nature of the problem?

I imagined God as a surgeon…I’m sure he was smiling behind that mask. Kind of like when my son came to me the other day and informed me that frogs were dangerous. Because they have sharp teeth. I just smiled (well, tried not to burst out laughing, actually) and said  that was very interesting and good to know. He was serious about the matter, but didn’t know what he was talking about. I’m seeing a similar picture here with myself. 

You see, I’m very serious about being free from this old, nasty wound.  I hate who I am at times...the way I react to situations or treat the ones I love the most. I know the impetus is that Wounded Place in my heart. It’s like a cancer, really. It’s eating me up inside, slowly but surely. But I don’t even know what it is…and yet, I think I can tell the Master Surgeon how to remove it. I don’t know what I’m talking about. 

It’s great that God involves us in coordinating our spiritual health care plan. Sometimes, though, I wish He wouldn’t give me a choice – I have a hard time making decisions sometimes, especially when the options involve pain of undisclosed levels and intensities. “It might be kind of painful” is rather vague.

Anesthesia…that’s what I need.
16And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, and Standby), that He may remain with you forever--
17The Spirit of Truth, Whom the world cannot receive (welcome, take to its heart), because it does not see Him or know and recognize Him. But you know and recognize Him, for He lives with you [constantly] and will be in you.
18I will not leave you as orphans [comfortless, desolate, bereaved, forlorn, helpless]
John 14:16-18 (AMP)
The sweet words of my precious Savior. Why should I give place to fear? It is just as destructive as the thing inside that is slowly eating me up, destroying the good in me bit by bit. And why shouldn’t I let God reform my spiritual health care? What I’ve been doing on my own really hasn’t been working so well. It’s time for a new approach…a ‘hands-off’ approach, if you will. Well, at least a MY hands-off approach…God’s hands fashioned me to begin with and He is fully able (and willing) to mend the broken areas in my heart.

Ok, God…I think I’m ready…let’s just get this over with, shall we? I’m going with Option A – Just Rip It Out Already…have at it…

I AM Jehova-Rapha...Yahweh-Rophe…I AM the God who heals you…
Exodus 15:26

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Friday, April 1, 2011

gPod…Trusting God in Spite of It All

Ever wake up with a song in your head? Something that speaks to a situation you’re facing? It’s like God is saying “don’t worry about it, I’ve got it under control…it’s all good!” And kind of like an iPod download…only I call it a gPod…you know, GodPod. Ok, corny…but still, I love free music downloads…especially ones that encourage me and lift my spirits!

I had some disappointment yesterday…long-awaited hopes dashed yet again. But this morning, I awoke with  I Will Follow dancing through my head. I love this song…Chris Tomlin is an amazing artist, and his music touches my soul. 

Hearing “all your ways are good, all your ways are sure, I will trust in You alone” first thing when I woke up today encourages me that in spite of how my plans have been derailed, God’s ways are good and I can trust Him.

I Will Follow (Chris Tomlin)
Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow...

All your ways are good
All your ways are sure
I will trust in you alone
Higher than my sight
High above my life
I will trust in you alone
Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you

Light unto the world
Light unto my life
I will live for you alone
You're the one I seek
Knowing I will find
All I need in you alone, in you alone

In you there's life everlasting
In you there's freedom for my soul
In you there joy, unending joy
and I will follow

Thanks God…I really need this today. I was feeling like You played a dirty trick on me yesterday…or April Fool’s came a day early. Forgive me for not trusting You…help me keep my eyes on You and not on the situation at hand.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 (New King James Version)

11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.

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