Grandbabies, Moving, a Marriage and a Graduate...Oh My!

Today is June 15, so we are half way through the month that marks the halfway point of the year. That means that six months of 2013 are gone. History. What? How did that happen? Where have I been? Well, I've become a grandma, a mother-in-law, drastically downsized, and celebrated my youngest stepson's graduation. All within four months. Doesn't seem like that much to look at what I just typed but mercy-sakes-alive I feel like I've just escaped a hurricane...albeit mostly unscathed. 

I've wanted to blog more, but there just hasn't been time. Too much to do! I can't remember too much of the first quarter of the year...I was holed up and hibernating as usual. Except for March 28, when our first grandchild was born. No way I'd forget that! That little guy started out at 4 lbs and 7 oz...

Grandpa and Jr, just a couple days old
and soooo tiny!

...but look at him now: 

Isn't he precious? He's about 2 1/2 months here and almost 9 pounds!
He's also rolled over already and just continues to amaze us all.

 He is just so cool. I get all verklempt every time I'm around him. Just love him to pieces! And I'm completely proud of his parents, they are doing a great job!

April started off with a few trips to the hospital as the grandbaby was there for a bit (born 6 weeks early). The next thing I know, we are moving out of our ginormous, old, five bedroom house and into a super cute teeny, tiny two bedroom. Thank goodness it was only six blocks away, that made the move so easy. Still, I had a house full of stuff I didn't want to move and had to get rid of, plus deciding what I could and wanted to keep, get it packed and all that fun stuff that goes with moving. Makes me tired to just reflect on it. 

Here's a virtual "tour" of our new digs:

The "Cracker Box", which sounds infinitely better than
"Sardine Can". 

The Welcoming Committee, sans furball
Say hello, Sister and Mister

Step inside into the kitchen, which is about half of
the downstairs. Seriously. So actually it's a pretty
nice size, as long as  you have a small table. Which
We do. We also have a Mister who loves to be in
every picture. And a dishwasher! I'm in heaven!

This is Friday, so I have our table ready for the start of Shabbat.
Since it stays light until midnight these days, thanks to my
favorite Dumb Stupid Time, we do our Sabbath-welcoming
around sundown, looooooonnnnggg after supper. No, we are
not Jewish, we just desire to honor Yahweh's commandments
and I don't see anywhere in His word that the Sabbath was
changed from the seventh day, so we honor the Sabbath and
rest on Saturday. It's wonderful!

Moving on, we have Mister and Sister and the furball in the
living room. There is just enough room for the four of us
to lounge around, but still room for company! We just have
to sit vertically, is all.

Not sure if this gives any indication of size, but it's the view from
the other end.

Not much to show here, it's a teeny, tiny bathroom.
When Sister saw it she said "That's not a bathroom,
that's a closet with a toilet in it". Apparently, the
tub and sink are extraneous. 

Going upstairs, you land in the kids' "room". Yes,
they share a room. I was concerned a bit that it
might prove to be disastrous, but really, it's going
exceptionally well. Mister stays out of Sister's stuff,
which is a miracle. Sister wisely reduced her
possessions to something more managable.

Our room is the other room upstairs-with the door. I
wish the cable hook up thing was on the other side of the
room, it would have a better "flow" to have the bed
against the other wall, I think. Since we have about
five miles of co-ax cable crammed behind the tv, I'm
thinking we could pull it off. Not sure I want to ask
Hubby to move furniture yet, though. I love the cozy
feel of this space. And, I found a use for the homemade
wrap I used to carry Mister around in when he was a
baby...as a "swag" valance, I think that's what you'd
call it. Mister is sharing his ducks and blankets with
me, isn't that so sweet? 

The tiny-ness of the house is balanced out with a humongous
back yard. We're going to put in a fire pit some time soon.
We love campfires! If we were going to live here longer, or buy it
I'd want to put in a garden.

Lots of potential here for flowers and stuff...if I had a proclivity
for that sort of thing instead of killing plants! I have a pallet there
leaning up against the house that I plan to plant culinary herbs
in, as soon as I can get to it. And look...central air!! Aaaahhh

So, instead of a regular kind of garden, I have a Container
Salsa Garden on my back steps. A couple of Roma type tomato
plants, a cherry tomato, two bell peppers and two hot peppers.
I have some mint growing in the window well to the left. Just

got them planted...late as usual, but hopefully we'll have enough 

to do some spaghetti sauce, pizza sauce and salsa!

If you have known me for any length of time, you know that organization has never really been what you'd call my "strong suit." I think I did a pretty good job of letting go of things we really didn't need. I know that my husband was surprised a few times with how easily I agreed to get rid of some things. Truth be told, I was surprised too. There was still a lot of work involved to get things packed and moved (in less than two weeks), plus unpacking and figuring out where to put things. 

The task now will be to not accumulate a bunch of stuff in the year or so we live here before we head west. I know that this move, I reduced things to things I didn't want to live without in this new home. The next move will require more difficult decisions, because neither one of us wants to move all this stuff across the country. When it comes right down to it though, there isn't that much that I couldn't walk away from if need be. I'm going to take time over the next year to find and consolidate those precious things that can't be replaced...ultrasound pictures of the kids and special mementos and such...and limit myself to what will fit in a decent sized box. As we get closer to moving, I'll do the same with books and other things that I would like to take but need to take less of. The kitchen things will be kind of hard though, cast iron pans are almost irreplaceable...when you consider the time and effort put into seasoning and maintaining them!

It's nice to know that I am less attached to "stuff" than I used to be. I think I used to see my "things" as part of me in a sense, and it was hard to get rid of them with that kind of perspective. Now when I look around, I just see stuff for the most part. And stuff is just stuff...it has no power over me other than what I give to it. 

The night we moved into our new home, Number One Son stopped by to tell us he and his fiancee were getting married...the next day at 4:00 in a town an hour away. Hubby didn't take that so well, but in his defense he was exhausted from moving all day! And to spring something like that on him at that moment...well...yeah. Thankfully, they put it off a couple of days at least so we could be there. There was no way we could have been there on the original day, so I'm glad they moved it so at least some of his family could be there.

Mr and Mrs Number One. Hoping and praying for a long,
happy marriage for them!

Next up, my youngest stepson's graduation! Of course that meant planning and putting on an open house, for which I agreed to make meatballs. I love making meatballs, really! I had 15 pounds of venison and hamburger I mixed up to make them. Yum! Hubby cooked up some chicken wings at his job, and their famous Pit-tatoes...which I discovered are NOT gluten free. So, consuming those and veggie dip made with Hidden Valley Ranch dressing mix (which I discovered AFTER I ate it...) and coupled with several days of extreme busyness before and after the party...well, I felt pretty much like I got run over by a very large truck. It took several days for me to "recover"! But it was a great party, our Marine was able to come back and surprise his brother, my Arizona in-laws were here and got to meet their GREAT-grandson, and my stepson made out like a bandit. Plus, the weather was absolutely gorgeous! Our Marine's high school graduation and open house two years ago was in weather reminiscent of what I imagine sitting in the foyer of hell would be like. Sooooo hot!

Four generations of Yoder boys! Jr is on Great Grandpa's lap,
next to Grandpa with Mister, and our Marine. In back are
the Graduate and the Number One Son, who recently made
me a mother in law. It was so nice to have all the boys
together again!

So, yeah...I've been kind of busy. I think that finally, things are put together well enough, although there's a few projects that I have yet to complete. They aren't essential, but I'm hoping I can get them done. And I love having waaaay less space to maintain. Housework is getting done in half the time, or less, and everything pretty much has a home. I have really enjoyed this Sabbath, because I really felt like I could REST. Last Sabbath was not restful at all, but I enjoyed the opportunity to be a blessing to our Graduate very much. Today, I could just rest and not even think about anything on any "to-do" list. Aaahhh...

Before I sign off...I must leave you with another picture of our sweet grandbaby...I just can't get enough of him!

Moving West

Have you ever packed up and moved across the country? Was it the best thing you've ever done or a total nightmare? If you have kids, how did they adjust to leaving their family and friends nearby? If you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently?

We've made the decision to move to Arizona next year. Yes, that's right...this summer-hating, sun-avoiding, lover of ice cold air conditioning has agreed to move to Arizona, to the Valley of the Sun. Have I lost my mind? Am I having an identity crisis? Perhaps...but here's the reasons (in no particular order) why we've decided to do this and why I've agreed (and, gasp, even encouraged this).

1. MY HUSBAND IS S.A.D.  He needs the sun like the rest of us need air and water. I dread the winter, because he hibernates. I feel like a single mom a lot, and that makes me sad. There's a saying that goes "when mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy", but I think that applies to daddy as well, at least at our house. When daddy's happy, mommy's happy, and the kids are happy. It all rolls downhill.
2. IT'S BEEN A LONG-TIME DREAM  My husband has wanted to move out there for years. His dad and brother live there, and I know he would love to be closer to them and do more with them. I always used to tell him "THERE IS NO WAY I WILL EVER LIVE IN ARIZONA. EVER. THEY HAVE TOO MUCH SUN, TOO MUCH HEAT, AND THEY HAVE SCORPIONS!" You know how they say "Never say never"? Yeah...my life is fraught with examples on why that is good advice..."I'll never have kids" (I have 5)..."I'll never drive a minivan" yep...drove one for six years..."I'll never get married again" well, I did...and I'm glad I did!
3. THEY DON'T DO DUMB STUPID TIME THERE Yes, that's right. I want to move to a dry, scorching, land of blazing sun and scorpions to escape the stupidity of "daylight savings time." I hate DST that much. I know I'll have to adjust to a new time zone, but I'm thinking waking up at six am in Arizona, when it's 8 am in Indiana, will instantly turn me into a morning person. Maybe not, but at least I won't have to suffer for months on end in the spring anymore. 
4. I CAME. I SAW. I FELL IN LOVE.  I've been out there twice now...I know, I know...two times? Big deal! But, I just fell in love with the landscape...mountains and cacti and palm trees. Desert landscaping in the yards...no more mowing!! And who can resist a desert sunset? Not this girl. 
5. AIR CONDITIONING I told my husband that as long as I didn't have to leave the house during the day, and our car had good AC, I could handle it. Once that scorching sun dips down below the horizon I think I could handle the heat. My skin reacts to the sun much like a vampire's. And besides, it's that dry heat...
6. THE OLDER KIDS ARE GROWN UP AND MOVED OUT We've wanted to move out of the area, at least, and out of state, for years now but stuck around because of the school system the older kids were in. The youngest of the oldest has finished school and moved out and since we homeschool our kids, school systems are not an issue for us. Which is good, because apparently, Arizona schools suck.
7. DESERT STARGAZING, CANYON HIKING, AND OTHER SW NATURE THINGS My daughter longs to go out to the desert and gaze at the stars we can't see from where we are now.  I share the same desire. She's also a rock hound and loves critters of all kinds. And what boy doesn't love sand? There is a lot of cool naturey things there that you just don't find in the midwest. Like Black Widow spiders and Palmetto bugs...those are almost deal breakers...
8. WE DON'T WANT TO DIE WHERE WE ARE It's not like Indiana is that bad, but honestly, I'm just tired of living here. I was born in the county I live in, and aside from a couple years living in a neighboring county...just inside it...I've spent all of my 41 years living here. I'd love to experience something different before I die. And the desert is vastly different.
9. WE'D BE CLOSER TO OUR MARINE My middle stepson has escaped the Midwest and loves living in California. I wouldn't want to live there, since they'll probably fall off into the ocean some day, but to each his own. We don't think he'll be back here, and we miss him. It will be nice to be closer to him, and to a Marine Mom I met online and have become good friends with. I know another Marine Mom from Ohio that said she'd join us out in Arizona, which would be way cool!
10. THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO DO THERE I checked out various city websites there and was blown away by all the activities they have there. Maybe it's just the town we live in, but there's just not much of anything to do here. No wonder teenagers get bored and break into cars. Just sayin'. There's also way more homeschool groups there, and they look like they're pretty active. There's a few around where we are, but I haven't found many that are very active. Well intentioned, sure...just lacking on follow through.

We've set a date of mid-June next year, but since we've got some youngin's wanting to get married the first of June, and another youngin wanting to get married in May...we might have to push it out further. If we do that, I'd say let's not be stupid and move in the middle of the summer. I hear it gets really, really hot out there. I'd say lets be moved out there by my birthday in November. That would be the best birthday present ever!

The Arizona State Flag...

The top half of the flag represents the 13 original colonies of the United States and the western setting sun. The copper star in the center of the flag identifies Arizona as the largest copper producing state in the union.

The lower half of the flag is a field of blue, the same Liberty Blue found in the United States' Flag. The red found in the rays of the setting sun is also the same shade of red found in the United States' Flag. The Blue of the lower half of the flag and the yellow of the western setting sun are the Arizona State Colors. The red and yellow colors found in the rays are the colors flown by the Spanish Conquistadors led by Francisco Vasquez de Coronado in his unsuccessful search for the Seven Cities of Cibola in 1540.

The Arizona State Flag was adopted by the Arizona State Legislature on February 27, 1917. The blue, red, yellow and copper flag was adopted despite numerous dissenting votes and then Governor Campbell's refusal to sign the bill.

Grandma Has Taken on a New Meaning

My husband and I recently became grandparents. At 41. I really didn't see that coming down the pike!  I suppose technically I'm a "stepgrandma" but that's quite a mouthful. I'm fine with grandma, or whatever cute little way our grandson says it. The other grandma (on our side of the family) wants to be called Mamaw, so that's a nice way to never be confused about whom he is talking about. 

I know I'm completely biased, but then what parent or grandparent isn't? This little guy decided his birthday would be six weeks before what the doctor said it should be and was 4 pounds and 7 ounces, 18 inches long. He is the most precious little thing! I happen to love little babies, they are just so adorable! Our daughter was born 5 1/2 weeks early and weighed in at a whopping 3 pounds 13 ounces, our son was only 10 days early and outweighed his sister at 5 pounds 8 ounces. It is just amazing to see perfectly formed fingers and toes and ears and lips and noses in miniature. 

He had some trouble breathing and eating at first, and was transferred to another hospital with a better-equipped NICU. But each day he is doing better and better. The ventilator was removed after a couple of days, today they removed the IV and he is able to breast feed three times a day, although the feeding tube is still in place. If he keeps improving with his feedings and gaining weight, he should be able to come home this weekend. I can't wait for him to be home and his family to all be together. I know how hard it is to leave the hospital without your baby, especially your first one...our daughter was in the hospital for 12 days before she could come home. 

One thing I have really enjoyed is watching his father interact with him. My stepson gets this soft look on his face and you can just see how much he loves his son. It makes me get all verklempt to think about it...I'm even getting all teary-eyed typing this. So many fathers walk out on their kids, especially when they are young and the pregnancy was unplanned. I really believe he is going to be a great dad, and his mommy will be a great mom. They're young and have a lot to learn, but they work well together and they both love their son to pieces. That's a good start! 

My last name is a popular Amish name, although we are not Amish. And when you put Grandma in front of it, it sure sounds old. And Amish. But it's a name I proudly accept! Grandma conjures up images of softness, love, and cookies.

Realizing that I am grandma sure puts a new spin on "grandma" now. I still think of my own grandma, or my mom or mother in law when I think it or say it. And when we're all in a room together it might take me a bit to respond to that until I'm completely used to it. But I'm OK with it. Really and truly...he is such an amazing little guy and I look forward to watching him grow, and watching his parents grow with him. It's a beautiful thing!

Another New Year, What's New?

It's hard to believe yet another year has flown by! My baby will be FIVE next month, my firstborn will be THIRTEEN...my head is spinning. There's been many changes in the last year or so, mostly in the spiritual and emotional areas for me. Good ones, thankfully! 

As God continues to bring healing and restoration in my "inner man", my housekeeping improves. I realized this week that it actually bothers me to have dirty dishes piled up. Oh, it "bothered" me before...just not enough to motivate me much to do something about it until I absolutely had to. This is definitely a new, and welcomed, development.

God has been opening my eyes about some things, which I plan to blog about in the coming months. It's amazing what happens when you let go of what you have always believed to be true...what you've always been taught or assumed is true...and allow Yahweh to reveal the truth that He established in the beginning.

We have some big milestones approaching...a high school graduation, a grandbaby on the way, another one leaving the nest, a new teenager in the family. I'm looking forward to what this year has to offer...and I'm sure when I look back this time next year, it unfolded differently than I thought it would. Life has a funny way of operating like that.

Once again, we've made changes in the area of food and nutrition...some rather begrudgingly in the beginning, but are turning out to be good changes. I've got another new "tool" in my kitchen...check out my post at my nutrition blog, Purposeful Nourishment, on Perpetual Broth.

I continue to try and purge the clutter in the house. It now seems to be mostly contained to closets, porches (ugh...that front porch I spent so much time cleaning is in need of another purging but it's not as bad as the last time!!), unused rooms and some corners. I cleaned out the desk today, and while there is still too much in the drawers and files, I threw out a trash bag full of papers and junk that I'd been holding on to..."just in case." Every time I go through the desk, I am able to let go of a little more. I know what would really kick me in gear is to get a different desk. Then I would HAVE to get rid of stuff!

I have a load of stuff to take to Goodwill, but since I haven't been there in quite some time, I haven't taken it with me when I leave town. I should just take it down to the drop off box here in town. I'll have to add that as a weekly task to my S.H.E. system...which I've been using again with success. The dishes are done and the house in order when I go to bed unless there's just been some kind of crazy going on here. And since that just neeeevvveeerrr happens....well, it has happened a bit less it seems, since I've been more on top of my game around here lately. 

New Year's Resolutions have never been my thing, and this year is no different. I just have an overall goal, every year, to become and do better than what I was and did last year. Not so overwhelming when I think of it like that!

I hope you have had a positive start to 2013, and whatever comes your way you will be strong and equipped to handle it. Here's to a great year!!

It’s Over,Facebook. For Real This Time

About three years ago, I entered into a relationship with Facebook. It was fun at first. Became an obsession for a while. Then, things began to change. Subtle at first. Things you get used to after a while, and forget why you were so irritated to begin with by the change. But this time, Facebook crossed the line.

I knew it was coming. The signs were everywhere. Other people were talking about it. It’s not like I had no warning at all. But, when I still hadn’t been Timelined, I thought maybe they had forgotten about me. Or, maybe they were afraid of me…as I am not afraid to complain about things I don’t like. Just ask anyone who knows me about my feelings on Mitch Daniels and Daylight Savings Time Dumb Stupid Time. It’s been like six years since that stupid practice was forced down my throat and I still hate it. Loathe it. Detest it. But, that is a rant reserved for for two times a year. The second time is coming in approximately 65 days. Yes, I count the days until we cast off the insanity and resume to normal time keeping. Which is in 69 days, but I usually post something about it a few days ahead.

I digress. Stupidity makes me do that.

There are some people who actually like the new Timeline format. Others don’t care one way or the other. And many, many who hate it. Those who like it accuse those who hate it of just being resistant to change and we should just suck it up and get over it already. These are probably the same people who say we need to be tolerant of other people’s views. Hmpf. Just another example of the bigotry of the Tolerance religion – we must respect other people’s views and beliefs…except when they differ from Ours.

I have good reasons for leaving Facebook – for real, for good – this time. I’ve been trying to break free from the FB habit for some time, but I must admit it has a pull, a certain addictive quality, that makes it difficult to break away. Much like leaving a cult…or a gang. Or trying to kick a $3000 a day cocaine habit. There’s just something about it that makes us feel good.

Is it because we are all incredibly nosey curious? Is it because we are somehow able to feel a sense of connectedness, of community, of family, better over a cold and impersonal internet connection than we can with the people around us who are warm, breathing, bodies of flesh?

Some say that “It's been suggested that people who love Timeline are narcissistic, because Timeline makes it a pleasure to design and curate a digital timeline of your life.” I would also suggest that Facebook in general appeals to the narcissist in all of us. Finally, we have a free forum in which to espouse our many views on life and religion and politics, mostly free from reprisal. We are instantly “published” without the thoughtful work that goes writing a book, or even a quality blog post – spur-of-the-moment status updates can be the equivalent of diarrhea of the mouth. And, if we don’t like what someone says about our obviously superior views, we can delete their comments and unfriend them. Problem solved.

Yes, I’m just as guilty as anyone for spouting off my views on Facebook. And I believe I am right about what I believe…why would I post something I don’t believe to be true? Or morally right? And yes, I have the audacity to disagree with other beliefs and views. I have the audacity to believe they are wrong, at times. That is my view, my belief, and it is just as valid as the opposing views and beliefs, right? According to almighty Tolerance, it should be.  However, anyone with any kind of intelligence and discernment (and a Facebook page) can see that “Tolerance” is rather one-sided.

Again…I digress. Induced by the stupidity of hypocritical “tolerance.”

All of this rambling is to say that I’m just completely over the whole Facebook experience. Facebook doesn’t care about its users, it cares about turning a profit. It does that by selling information that users readily hand over. There is no such thing as privacy on the internet, regardless of “privacy policies”…if you go online, you have to give out information at some point. If you choose to do that, then you can’t whine because someone else does something with it. The world is full of unscrupulous people, greedy people, people with cold hearts that only care about themselves. It’s not a world I want to be a part of, frankly.

Facebook takes up too much time. I’ve had several occasions where I quit logging in (but didn’t deactivate my account) because the dishes weren’t getting done and people were running out of clean underwear. That just really isn’t good. I’m a SAHM, my job is to take care of my family and home. Anything that interferes with that just really has to go.

Sometimes, it takes something drastic to get us to change our bad habits and selfish ways. When Facebook decided that every user would be forcibly switched to the new Timeline, I decided that was it. I will not change voluntarily, and when they do switch me, I’m pulling the plug on my FB account. Surprisingly, it took the better part of a year for them to get around to changing my profile. As providence would have it, it was at the beginning of the month of Elul on the Hebrew calendar. A month dedicated to reflection, repentance, prayer and study. And there is just no room in all of that for the distraction of Facebook.

I will, of course, miss some things. Or, people, rather…as a Marine parent, the support of a Marine Moms group on FB has been amazing, and I’ve met some terrific ladies there. I have family around the country, as well as friends, that I rarely see, but can easily connect with on FB. Why is that not enough to keep me on there? Because real relationships require cultivation and maintenance. They require work. It is much more meaningful to get a real, honest to goodness letter from someone instead of a quick post on their “wall” or a tag in a comment somewhere. It says you care enough about THEM to take time out of your day to make an effort to let them know they are important to you. It’s not easy in this busy, electronic world we live in, true…but I think we need to reclaim some compassionate humanity and let go of cold, electronic indifference.

I can not, of course, end this without addressing another large reason for telling FB to go jump off a cliff. As someone who does not particularly like change all that much, I most definitely do not like it forced on me. My inner child stomps her feet and fumes and pouts and spouts off about it. You can’t make me like or accept something by forcing it on me. And to think that everyone on FB is going to blindly accept whatever you throw at them is just ridiculous. At least for now…the sheeple are coming along, of course. But this woman is no sheeple and I will not be “coming along”.

Not having the ball and chain of Facebook around my ankle has been nice. I’m kind of in a deprogramming mode – I want to log in, to see if anyone misses me, to see what I missed…and yet, I don’t. I thought I’d log in after a week to retrieve some information, like a message I recently received that I want to keep, some email addresses of people I really want to stay in contact with, and tie up some loose ends in a group I created. But, I’m liking not being on Facebook so much, I just might not!

So, for those who think I’m just being silly and resistant to change…well, think what you want. Facebook is not mandatory (yet…have you seen this about a German article? Apparently, people who DON’T have a FB or other social networking account might be “suspicious”. I just might be on a List somewhere now since I don’t have a Facebook…) so I don’t have to have a FB account if I don’t want to. And I have no interest trading my personal information to use a site that forces me into a box of conformity. I would think that for the valuable trade-off of personal information to feed to their  advertisers, Facebook could at least throw its users a bone and allow for some personalization. Give them a choice in the matter, so they don’t feel so…violated. Make them feel like you care and they might not complain so much.

Bottom line is…I have a real life. Sorry, Facebook…it’s you, and you have to go. And don’t ever call me again, I mean it.

Conversations With Preschoolers: Applesauce

The following is a real, actual conversation with a real, actual preschooler. It is a great example of the conversations that I have on a regular basis, particularly with this preschooler. They always leave me feeling a little dizzy and like I’d just been sideswiped by an invisible sock monster. Or something equally absurd… 

THE PLAYERS

Preschooler #1 is also known as Mister, but he’s not acting in this scene. Preschooler #2 is not related to us at all, she hangs out at our house frequently. The 11 Year Old is my moody daughter.

SETTING THE STAGE

The 11 Year Old came out into the kitchen and spied some organic cinnamon applesauce, recently purchased at a lovely clearance price. She asks, “can I have some applesauce?” Since we had just had a hearty quinoa breakfast, I said “not right now.” Then I went into my bedroom to gather up laundry…

SCENE 1 

PRESCHOOLER #2: Dawn…
ME: What?
PRESCHOOLER #2: Can I have some applesauce?
ME: What?
PRESCHOOLER #2: Can I have some applesauce?
ME: I just told The 11 Year Old she could not have applesauce, why do you think you can have some?
PRESCHOOLER #2: Well, we want some stickers!

CURTAIN 

If there is a connection between applesauce and stickers, I can not figure out what it could be. I just looked at her and shook my head.

We have conversations like this a lot. I shake my head…a lot.

I guess I’ve not been a preschooler far too long, their world just doesn’t make sense anymore! They sure do keep things interesting…I guess there is nothing wrong with searching for a common factor between forbidden applesauce and stickers. Who knows, it might just end up curing cancer. Or causing Democrats and Republicans to put aside their differences and actually work together for the good of the country. Or eliminate the National Debt. Or some other impossibility…

We Do It Our Way: Embracing Our Homeschool Style

Are you struggling in your homeschool? Maybe you're trying to put the square peg in the round hole...

I have finally come to grips with the fact that we are, indeed, unschoolers.  However, I have a passion for forms. I love charts, planning pages and the like, but truth be told, I end up either using them for a while then fizzling out or not using them at all. I have been pondering on whether or not I can truly consider myself to be an "unschooler" if I am using forms and charts and planning pages. 

Why not?

Unschooling is not the absence of schooling. It is allowing your child the freedom to learn whatever captures their interest. Bats. Crystals. Snakes. Underwater basket weaving. All of these things have educational merits. You can teach math with bats (Suzy had 5 bats fly into her hair and 3 got stuck. How many bats are in Suzy's hair?), geometry with crystals, and physical education with underwater basket weaving (and snakes, if you find yourself needing to run away from some...). Actually, these things are more caught than taught. My kids prefer to learn by doing rather than by sitting and cranking out worksheets. They learn by seeing, feeling, hearing, moving and asking questions. I love that!

So, how do you keep records while unschooling? What about lesson plans? 

Daily Lesson Plan:  wake up, live life, learn something along the way

Yet, there does need to be some structure. Children also need discipline...left to their own devices, they are inherently foolish.

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.   Proverbs 22:15 (NKJV)

Intelligent children listen to their parents; foolish children do their own thing.Proverbs 13:1 (The Message)

Intelligent unschooling parents, then, will be watchful for what interests their children and be mindful to guide their studies.  Just as guardrails on a road are not meant to restrict our driving fun but to keep us from danger so we can arrive at our destination safely, guidelines and discipline in the homeschool keep our children from their own inherent foolishness and keep them on the road to responsible, intelligent adulthood. And as parents, we need to be responsible...as homeschooling parents, we need to be responsible and accountable.

Our state does not require labor intensive record-keeping. Thank God for that! We are only required to keep an attendance record. However, I do believe it is foolish to not keep any records at all of what your children are learning simply because the state does not require it. Many well-meaning (and some not so well-meaning) but uninformed social service agents would view that as evidence of educational neglect. So, in the event of any questioning about your homeschool and whether you are actually teaching your children, you can alleviate any fears by showing that your children are, indeed, learning at the level in which they are capable. 

So, what about those forms and charts and planning pages that I love to love, only to end up hating to use? How can I use them to keep us as disciplined as we need to be and as accountable as I should be?

The trick is to find forms, charts and planning pages that work with our family's style. That satisfy my need for writing things down, without confining me to someone else's idea of proper record keeping.  After searching through tons of documents online...some really great forms and planning pages...I've come to realize that the trick, then, is to make my own...which, it just so happens, is one of my favorite hobbies. 

And so, I have decided to make all of my own record keeping forms. I'll test-run them over the next few weeks...as learning doesn't end here because the public school system says school is out. It's more relaxed, more fun, but there is still learning going on.

Today, I created my first PDF of a form I think will finally suit my style. It's a Daily Learning Log sheet, with ample space to write in what we did and to check off the subject areas that are covered. I can easily see at a glance if we have balanced learning going on or are neglecting other areas and can adjust accordingly.

Visit my page on Homeschool Launch to download this Daily Learning Log (there is one with subjects already included, and one blank for your own personalization). I plan to incorporate this sheet in my DIY Homeschool Planner for the coming year.  You can also find a TON of great forms for just about anything you need for your homeschool and homekeeping there.

Click here to check out my new unschooling planner! It's simple and flexible, and I think I'm going to love it!

Of course, this form may not suit your needs at all. That's ok...just find out what does. Then use it. You'll be a lot less frustrated and be much more successful at making learning fun, exciting and enticing for your children. How else can we raise up life-long learners?

SOAP Devotion: 1 Corinthians 3

What kind of materials are we using as we build on the foundations laid in people’s lives? What kind of foundation have we laid in our children’s lives? Every word, every action is like a brick, a 2 x 4, a nail…all building and shaping who our children become. I know I’m only “supposed” to use one verse, but these two need to go together, so I’m cheating a little bit…

Today’s reading is 1 Corinthians 3

Scripture:  Some will use gold, silver or precious stones in building on this foundation; while others will use wood, grass or straw. 13 But each one's work will be shown for what it is; the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire - the fire will test the quality of each one's work.  1 Corinthians 3:12-13

Observation: Everything we do or say influences and builds on another’s foundation. From the moment our children are born, we are laying a foundation and building upon it. What materials will we use? Anything made of wood, grass or straw will burn up and not last, and it will not make the structure stronger, but weaker. The same is true for me…others have built on the foundation of my life. What is wood, grass or straw…what is gold, silver and precious stones?

Application: As I read this, I thought of both what I’ve used to build in my children’s lives and what has been used to build in my own life growing up. It hasn’t all been gold, silver and precious stones. There is comfort in knowing that it will be burned up at some point…but that seems like such a waste. Can it be removed and replaced with gold, silver and precious stones that will not be burned away?

Buildings can be restored. It can take a long time and a lot of work, but it can be done. Repairing mistakes and damage before the building is finished seems like it would be much easier than after the building is done…after it has aged and weathered and settled.

Following the blueprints and directions will ensure the building is built soundly and correctly. Even when the ground shakes, the building can stand. But when the building is built haphazardly, not to code, and with substandard materials…even the smallest shaking or adverse conditions can cause the building to be damaged or be destroyed.

God’s Word and Holy Spirit are the blueprints and directions we are to follow when raising our children. The gold, silver and precious stones we are to use are all of the good things of God – love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control – that shape and build their hearts, minds, souls and character into the people that He has designed them to be.

While we can’t control what others do, and unfortunately there will be “non-union” workers who show up on the job, we do have control over what we choose to do and say and where we allow our children to be. As they get older, we have to let them go a little bit…and trust that the foundation we laid and have built upon is strong and sturdy.

God allows us to build as we wish…but we then have to accept the consequences, and pay the price, for not following the directions.  I’m so glad that he is not like some earthly bosses who will fire you for making mistakes…His grace is abundant and mercy unceasing. But I have to remember it’s not just me that is affected here…my children are, and potentially my grandchildren. I must be purposeful in my parenting, and must strive to always follow the blueprints and the directions while building upon my children’s hearts, minds and souls.

Prayer:  Father, I so wish I wasn’t just “getting” this concept now. My precious daughter, whom You used to turn me back to You, is now almost 11 years old. 11 years of not always following the blueprint for her life. 11 years of not always seeking Your direction in how to parent her. I know I have used some wood, grass and straw to build in her life…please help me find it and remove it so it can be replaced with what is truly valuable and lasting. And my son, too…even he, in his short 3 years, has had some substandard material added to his foundation. Forgive me, Lord, for not always taking seriously this job before me…for letting my own wants and desires cause me to use anything but precious metals and stones to build in their lives. Help me to restore what has not been done correctly so that they are standing upon a strong, solid, and impermeable foundation. And Lord...help me remove in me what was laid there by others that doesn't belong and weakens this temple of yours. Replace it with what it good, pure and true and will last for eternity.

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SOAP Devotion: Proverbs 12

Do you ever get angry? I mean really, explosively angry? It is such an out-of-control feeling! And far too often, others get hurt because we are out of control. 


This morning, I went back to bed after seeing my honey off to work...the little girl I babysit wasn't coming until 9:00, it was rainy and dreary and just perfect for sleeping in. I should have stayed up and had my devotion time...that helps so much when it comes to controlling anger...to be plugged in and connected with God's grace for the day. And when that sippy cup fell onto my toe - good grief, who knew a half-empty sippy cup could feel like a boulder when it hits your toe - I had a hard time not exploding.  Only a few weeks ago, I probably would have...but feeling better makes it easier to keep those emotions in check. Still, I knew I needed to get connected with God before the rest of the day happened...and happened badly.

Proverbs 12 is full of great advice. Diligence and laziness, righteousness and wickedness, the wise and the foolish. I can’t say I’m surprised at what God brought to my attention this morning…and since I am wise, I will love correction and follow this excellent advice regarding anger…

Today’s Reading is Proverbs 12.

Scripture:  A fool's anger is known at once, but a cautious person slighted conceals his feelings. Proverbs 12:16

Observation: There are a good many angry fools in society today. Restraining one’s emotions requires maturity and wisdom, and a cautious person is one who can keep their emotions in check, even when slighted.

Application:  I’ve had issues with anger for many years. Thankfully, God has worked on that wrinkle in my character faithfully and steadily.  As I have matured, it has become easier to not get carried away by my emotions and blow up like a volcano whenever something makes me angry or when I feel that my “rights” have been violated. Isn’t that what we feel when we’re slighted by someone?

A fool immediately reacts to a situation, and lets himself get carried away by his feelings. Things get said that hurt others. Things sometimes get broken. And many times, others can get physically hurt.  They are only thinking of themselves and their own feelings, not at all of the other person...except maybe of hurting them in retaliation. It is selfish an immature. Ouch, God...that one really hurts.

A wise person is cautious…he considers possible responses to a situation before opening his mouth. He knows the power of words to hurt or to heal, and chooses to not use hurtful words.  He is cautious, because he knows that how he responds to the situation can either defuse it or ignite it further.

I have to admit that I’m not always wise. Some of that has been because of health issues…and while I’m not trying to use that as an excuse, it is difficult sometimes when you feel terrible or your hormones are all wacked out, to retain a grip on wisdom and prudence.  I look back at some of the things that have made me explode, and really…how ridiculous I was to allow such a little thing have so much control over ME. I am in charge of myself, not some fickle and childish emotion.

And when I see the influence my anger has had on my children, I just want to cry. I know God has forgiven me every time I blow it and repent…but I have a hard time forgiving myself. Especially when little arms have hugged my neck and precious voices say “I ‘give you, Mommy.” They shouldn’t have to say that…but I am glad that God uses even my sin to bring about Christlikeness in my children. They forgive so easily, without even a second thought…they have such sweet and tender hearts.

I long to be that quiet, peaceful, and humble-spirited wife and mother…but it just doesn’t seem to be in me some days. Ok, most days, to be honest.  I know that God created me to be that way, He just has a lot of hard rock to chisel away before it can be revealed, I guess.

Prayer: Father, forgive me again for allowing my emotions to rule my behavior. Help me to be wise and cautious…to always RESPOND instead of REACT to every situation. Help me to be a peacemaker in my home, and to model a quiet spirit.  Show me the root of my anger, and rip it out completely…I don’t want it in me! Help me, today, Lord, to be peaceful and gentle.

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SOAP Devotion: Esther 1

When God said read the first chapter of Esther, I thought I knew where He was going. I know the story of Queen Esther and how she saved her people by entreating the king. But that’s not the queen God was speaking to me about today at all. There’s another queen in that story…Queen Vashti. And she wasn’t nearly as noble as Esther…

Today’s Reading is Esther 1

Scripture: because this act of the queen's will become known to all the women, who will then start showing disrespect toward their own husbands…Esther 1:17a

Observation: What women do we, knowingly or unknowingly, idolize on TV? How do they influence our behavior as wives and the queens of our homes? Are we aware of how our own behavior influences our daughters, friends or neighbors?

Application:  Queen Vashti dis’ed her husband, the king, when he commanded her to come and she refused. This, of course, really made the king mad and he consulted with his sages on how to deal with this impertinent queen. The sages wisely reasoned that the queen’s public display of disrespect and willful disobedience to the authority of the king would influence the women of the kingdom to also disrespect their husbands.

As I read this chapter today, that verse just really grabbed my attention. It reminded me of a show I used to watch fairly regularly just a few years ago – King of Queens. I always thought it was pretty funny, what with that spunky Carrie Heffernan and her goofy husband Doug and all. I don’t know why, but I quit watching it regularly. But the next time I watched an episode, I was really shocked by how disrespectful and nasty the character of Carrie was…and that I didn’t notice it before when I watched it all the time.

How often do we idolize the women we see on TV, who are nearly always portrayed as smart, sexy, funny, ambitious and successful (while their male counterparts are typecast as bumbling idiots)? There is nothing wrong, of course, with being smart, sexy, funny, ambitious and successful…but these women also are never, or rarely if ever, shown to be respectful to their husbands…and certainly never submissive. Are we influenced by these women? How does their influence on the young and impressionable minds of our daughters shape the women they will become?

My husband told me he never liked that show, though we used to watch it often. He also told me he didn’t like Everyone Loves Raymond, another show I used to like watching…until my eyes were opened to the subtle way the entertainment industry is helping to destroy the sacred institutions of marriage and family. Our daughters are growing up believing that men are stupid, incapable morons. Our sons are growing up believing they are stupid, incapable morons who can’t do anything right, so why bother trying to be a father, to lead a family? Besides, it’s the women who wear the pants in the family, because they are the ones who are smart and capable. It is so easy to become immersed and immune to the influence of what comes out of that stupid box…it took not watching it for me to see what I was unable to see before.

As queens of our homes, we wield powerful influence in the lives of our children. Our behavior is often noticed more than our words. Biblical submission to authority and to our husbands is not being a doormat, but rather respecting the authority God has placed over us. It is not never having a say in an issue, but allowing our husbands to make the final decision, because that is the responsibility God has given him as the leader of his home and family. Our daughters learn how to be wives and mothers from us. Our sons learn what a wife and mother should be from us. As followers of Christ, then, we should strive to submit to our husbands and model for our children God’s perfect plan for the family.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for helping me to understand what submission really means. I can see, as I have learned to be more submissive to my husband, that there is peace and freedom in that submission that is not there when I try to wear my husband’s pants. Help me always to remember how I influence my children’s view of marriage and family by my own behavior and help me be the perfect example of a godly wife and mother. Forgive me for the times that I have been disrespectful or not submissive to my husband’s authority, which you have given him over me. Help me also to remember that how I conduct myself as a wife is seen by my friends and others…let me not sow discord by my behavior or by grumbling and complaining about my husband. Let all of my words about my husband be loving and respectful.

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Mushrooms and Memories on Mother's Day

My 10 year old daughter took this picture today...I love it!

Today is Mother's Day...how did you celebrate the day? We spent the afternoon at a local State Park, on the hunt for the elusive (at least for us, anyway) Morel mushroom. My husband always says that Mother's Day weekend is the best time to find them. How ironic for me, though...to spend "my" special day searching for something I don't even like! Yeah, I am not a big fan of mushrooms. But I enjoy looking for them with my husband, and our daughter seems to have the mushroom eye. Daddy said she could go along mushroom hunting with him any time!  One word of advice though...mushroom hunting with a three year old...a very busy three year old boy...is not easy. But it was so fun to see him having fun and experiencing the wonder of God's creation! Here are some pictures of our day, one we will all remember, I hope!

First, we play...while daddy scouts out some potential mushroom spots

The first casualty of the day...a splinter

Not sure how I got Little Mister to be still and pose so nicely, but glad for the great shot of my precious kiddos!

After texting daddy that the natives were getting restless and thirsty, he came back and unlocked the van. We had a quick snack and some water and then hit the trail...each with our own "mushroom stick"

Mushroom Hunter and Apprentice...lesson one, the stance

Mister tries his hand at searching for mushrooms

Look what Hannah found! Daddy walked right by it!

Her first mushroom...a half-free Morel

I couldn't believe I actually found a real Morel...this is the first Morel I've ever found!

We love nature...it's so fun! Except for the swarms of gnats lying in wait along the trail...

The kids and I stopped at the lake while Daddy ventured into the deep, dark woods to find some more mushrooms. Mister probably tossed half the gravel there into the lake! Here, he is observing the effects of gravity and fluid dynamics (:

It was very beautiful and serene here...I wished that Bob Ross was there to help me paint some happy little trees...

Some people say "cheese"...we say "Happy Stinkin' Gnat Day"
There were A LOT of gnats...it was like a Biblical Gnat plague, seriously...

Mister did great on our long trek in the woods at "Tato Creep" park...but fizzled out at the end and Daddy had to carry him a while. What a trouper though!

Our Morel "Motherload" - about a pound or so. Daddy found the biggest ones on his first search while we were at the playground.

Today was just absolutely lovely. The weather was perfect...a little over 70 degrees and sunny...we all just had a great time. It was so relaxing to stroll along in all that nature and drink in the beauty of all that God created. And marvel at the children He used me to create as well. I am so blessed to be their mother! God could have picked anyone to fill that role, but He chose me...sometimes I can't figure out exactly why, but I wouldn't have it any other way. 

I will lay down and sleep in perfect peace tonight...