Another New Year, What's New?

It's hard to believe yet another year has flown by! My baby will be FIVE next month, my firstborn will be THIRTEEN...my head is spinning. There's been many changes in the last year or so, mostly in the spiritual and emotional areas for me. Good ones, thankfully! 

As God continues to bring healing and restoration in my "inner man", my housekeeping improves. I realized this week that it actually bothers me to have dirty dishes piled up. Oh, it "bothered" me before...just not enough to motivate me much to do something about it until I absolutely had to. This is definitely a new, and welcomed, development.

God has been opening my eyes about some things, which I plan to blog about in the coming months. It's amazing what happens when you let go of what you have always believed to be true...what you've always been taught or assumed is true...and allow Yahweh to reveal the truth that He established in the beginning.

We have some big milestones approaching...a high school graduation, a grandbaby on the way, another one leaving the nest, a new teenager in the family. I'm looking forward to what this year has to offer...and I'm sure when I look back this time next year, it unfolded differently than I thought it would. Life has a funny way of operating like that.

Once again, we've made changes in the area of food and nutrition...some rather begrudgingly in the beginning, but are turning out to be good changes. I've got another new "tool" in my kitchen...check out my post at my nutrition blog, Purposeful Nourishment, on Perpetual Broth.

I continue to try and purge the clutter in the house. It now seems to be mostly contained to closets, porches (ugh...that front porch I spent so much time cleaning is in need of another purging but it's not as bad as the last time!!), unused rooms and some corners. I cleaned out the desk today, and while there is still too much in the drawers and files, I threw out a trash bag full of papers and junk that I'd been holding on to..."just in case." Every time I go through the desk, I am able to let go of a little more. I know what would really kick me in gear is to get a different desk. Then I would HAVE to get rid of stuff!

I have a load of stuff to take to Goodwill, but since I haven't been there in quite some time, I haven't taken it with me when I leave town. I should just take it down to the drop off box here in town. I'll have to add that as a weekly task to my S.H.E. system...which I've been using again with success. The dishes are done and the house in order when I go to bed unless there's just been some kind of crazy going on here. And since that just neeeevvveeerrr happens....well, it has happened a bit less it seems, since I've been more on top of my game around here lately. 

New Year's Resolutions have never been my thing, and this year is no different. I just have an overall goal, every year, to become and do better than what I was and did last year. Not so overwhelming when I think of it like that!

I hope you have had a positive start to 2013, and whatever comes your way you will be strong and equipped to handle it. Here's to a great year!!

S.O.S. Challenge Update

It’s finally September! I so long for the shorter days, the crispness in the air and the lovely scent of autumn on the wind. The urge to bake is revving up again, and I dream of breads and anything pumpkiny emerging from my oven once more. Sigh…

It’s also the beginning of my Sick Of Stuff decluttering challenge that I’ve recently imposed upon myself. Are you curious about how I’m doing? Let me tell you!

Even though I said I would officially start this September 1st, I found myself loading up bags and boxes of Stuff in the last couple weeks of August and taking them to Goodwill. One drawback of dropping stuff off at the store I usually go to is that they give you coupons. They always ask, and actually, I could say no, but…well, I just don’t. I will have to work on that. The good news is that even though I did shop there a couple times, I brought back home WAY less than I took in, so I’m still ahead.

It’s a good thing I started early, though, because my dear honey hurt his back at work the other day so I’ve been busy taking care of him, plus we just had a few busy days already this month and I haven’t taken out a bag or box every day so far. It’s only the 5th, and I’m pretty sure that what I took out in August covers all of September so far. And, today I dropped off two garbage bags of Stuff – one I had loaded in the van last night but forgot to drop off while we were out, and one large, black trash bag full of toys and kid’s books and some things in my kitchen I finally decided I could let go of because actually, I hated them. I don’t know why I hung on to that infernal Pampered Chef potato masher that I couldn’t stand for so long. Every time I used it I grumbled about how much I didn’t like it. But now, it’s gone, and the things in the drawer it once resided in are all things that I use often and don’t make me mad.

I look around at all the things I KNOW I could get rid of, and still feel that “but I might need it some day” urge to hold on to them. It’s a process, I know, but I’m trying not to get overwhelmed by the bigness of it. I’m trying to focus on what can I part with right now, today? Even if it is just one thing, that is one less thing cluttering up my space and collecting dust.

Books will be the hardest to part with. And I know, I could get a Kindle or something, but I just love real, honest to goodness books. I love the feel of them, the smell of them (as long as they don’t smell musty, dusty or smoky!) and you just don’t get that in a Kindle. But many of those books don’t get read, so I’m just going to have to find a way to part with them one way or another. I thought maybe it would be a good winter project – read a book one more time for old time’s sake and then find a new home for it.

Overall, I am happy with what I’ve done so far. I don’t know that you can see a huge difference, but just knowing I’ve removed a bunch of Stuff that I didn’t love or use feels great. You can, however, see a big difference in the toy area and the shelf where we keep the kid’s books. It’s progress, and that’s always a good thing.

I’m going to continue to remove something from my home every day, even if it just gets to the back of the van to go to Goodwill, at least it is out of the house. I will remember to drop it off every week, since I’ll have to have room for groceries. “Odd-sized trash” week is coming up for our town, so I hope to have some trash to load up out front.

Well, there you have it, folks. I’m plugging away at my challenge and am trying to keep focused on the wide, clear, open space I long to have in my home – so I can breathe!

The S.O.S. Challenge

S.O.S. can mean several different things...Save Our Schools, HELP!!!, Switched On Schoolhouse. Anything with an S-O-S configuration, really. Right now, for me, it is an acronym for Sick Of Stuff. It's time to get serious about Stuff around here.

As I've gotten older, wiser, and more free of debilitating emotional issues, I have found that I'm somehow a better housekeeper. Do not read I'm A Perfect Housekeeper and My Home Should Be Featured In BHG there, please! I just mean that my home does not look like my bedroom did as a child...most of the time. If the kids have been running amok, well, it might look kind of like that. But, in general, you can see the floor and dont' have to walk on Stuff or shovel a path through Stuff to get around. The OTHER horizontal surfaces around here, however, typically have lots of Stuff on them. And I hate it.

For instance, my kitchen counter is a long L-shape wth a stove at one end. There is a particular corner that I have dubbed The Black Hole. Not sure why, actually - black hole implies that things go in and are never seen again. I guess it's more of the Event Horizon thing...if it gets close to that particular area, it ends up on The Pile. I do usually see it again, when I get sick of the Overflowingness and decided to "declutter" the Black Hole. 

I have wanted Simplify for a long time, but I'm not sure what has held me back...and still does.  When I'm away from our home, say at church for example, I get this overwhelming desire to go home and start Chucking Stuff. I feel up to it, I feel Inspired and Motivated. And, I get home and find that I just can't do it. Even though I haven't touched the papers in a certain file in my file cabinet for at least two years, I can't bring myself to throw them away. It's pathetic. 

Yet I long to be Free Of Stuff. I hate the choking, claustrophobic feel of all these things. Things that gather dust. Things that stare at me and remind me how disorganized I am. Things I am in bondage to, because I can not throw them out or give them away. Things that aren't worth much of anything, really. Sometimes, I think about things like What if there was a Natural Disaster and We Lost Everything. Would I survive? Of course I would. I don't really NEED most of this stuff! 

And so, I have decided to challenge myself to fill up a box or bag every day of Stuff to remove from my home. Whether it goes to the trash can, consignment shop or thrift store doesn't matter. It doesn't even matter what size of box or bag, as long as something goes out of the house every day.  It's just got to go. I'm calling it the SOS Challenge. I'm going to start this September 1, 2012...feel free to join me and share what your're doing! 

I love freecycle, but I can't wait around for people who may or may not show up to collect whatever I'm freecycling....I know myself too well. That may work for you, but it won't for me. There's a Goodwill drop box a few blocks from me, and if I have a small bag, I can also get some exercise and ride my bike down to drop it off. I also go to an area that has a Goodwill store (and I get coupons when I drop off my donations...wait, that would probably work against me!). And if nothing else, I can set it out by the road with a "FREE" sign and it will probably be gone in no time. 

Any challenge needs an outline, rules, goals....I'm going to think on those things and post what I come up with in a few days. For now, I have to work on psyching myself up for this challenge. To get rid of whatever it is that hinders me so I can get rid of all this Stuff that does not make me happy or serve a useful purpose in my life. 

The Miracle Pill (Updated 8-3-11)

Have you ever wished you could just take a pill and everything would be all better? It’s hard to believe that it could be that simple, but for me…well, I think I really have found a “miracle pill.” You don’t really know how bad you feel until you suddenly feel good. I mean really, really good. And you actually feel like living, not just surviving, each day. Let me introduce you to my new friend, Levothyroxine…

I have suspected for years that my thyroid was low, but any time it was tested, the result was always the same – normal. There’s a family history of low thyroid, so it seemed reasonable that the tiredness and fatigue, memory problems, irritability, increasing intolerance to cold, inability to focus and thinning hair just might be related to a hormonal imbalance such as low thyroid. But, if the test result is normal, then that can’t be the problem, right?

Wrong. I learned while researching thyroid problems that there is a grey area in the “normal” range…the higher the number on a TSH test, the lower your thyroid level is, so the closer you get to the upper limit of the normal range, the more likely you are to have symptoms of hypothyroidism. And when your numbers are at the high end of normal and you’re presenting with symptoms like those I listed above, they call that subclinical hypothyroidism. I discovered that while reading the book, The Thyroid Solution: A Revolutionary Mind-Body Program That Will Help You by Arem Ridha. I really felt empowered, after reading this book, to discuss my concerns with my doctor. I also feel fortunate that my doctor was willing to examine the possibility, as many doctors won’t even consider treatment for low thyroid if your test is “normal.”

Did you see that picture up there of the two tiny orange pills? Those are my “miracle pills”. I started taking the lowest dose there is, and a week later it felt like someone flipped a switch on in my head. For the first time in years - I’d say possibly for the first time in my adult life, and particularly in the last three years since having my son – I can think straight, concentrate, and focus. I have an energy level I have never, ever had as long as I can remember, which is great because I actually WANT to do things! I even physically move faster.I don’t feel like I’m wandering around in a fog anymore. In fact, I did more housework, cleaning, decluttering and organizing in four days than I’ve done in the last six months combined..or more! It’s simply amazing…one little bitty pill has completely changed my life. 

Now, if the doctor had just prescribed the Levothyroxine three months ago like I wanted to begin with, I’d have had three months of feeling good, and losing weight, under my belt…kind of makes me mad when I think about all the years I’ve spent feeling like poo and beating myself up because I just couldn’t “get it together”. 

Even though Levothyroxine is my “miracle pill”, I can’t forget that I have years of bad habits to overcome. I think it will be easier now that my brain is no longer a bowl of rice pudding, however. Because feeling good just feels amazing…especially when you realize just how bad you were feeling.

***UPDATE***

After taking levothyroxine for several weeks, I began to notice a gradual decline in energy level and motivation...returning almost to where I was before I started taking it, only I could still think more clearly. I called my doctor and we did blood tests again, the TSH test and A1C. I mentioned what I had found about metformin possibly causing thyroid levels to decrease but the nurse said "No, it doesn't do that." I find this interesting, because it was just like when I started taking metformin to begin with...initially I felt better (getting my blood sugar under control, I'm sure, was the factor there) but then after 4 to 6 weeks or so, I began to once again become lethargic and completely unmotivated and the mental fog began to increase again, after having subsided noticeably. The same thing happened here when I started taking the levothyroxine...and guess what? At the same time I started taking that, she increased the dose of metformin I was taking. A coinicidence? Maybe...but I have my doubts.  What I had read about the connection between metformin and lower thyroid levels was, of course, theory and more study is needed but it seems to me, in my case anyway, that there may be a connection.

My thyroid test showed a slight increase in thyroid hormone, which of course would account for the overall improvement in how I'm feeling, but since I'm still experiencing symptoms she went ahead and increased my dose. While I don't have that same level of energy I had when I first started taking it, over all, I feel better and hope this increase in dose will do it. At least she was happy with my A1C reading and didn't increase that dreadful metformin. I can't wait to get off of that! 

SOAP Devotion: Psalm 15

Honestly, when I asked God what to read today, I heard “Psalm fiftee…and knew He was saying Psalm 15, but I remember what that Psalm is and I guess didn’t want to read it (again!) so I think I changed it to Psalm Fiftee-two…I do that sometimes…I know what God is saying but I don’t want to hear it so I change it to something else. Not a good practice, really. It’s the human in me, I guess. But, after reading Psalm 52, I knew that just wasn’t it and I had interjected my own thoughts into the answer so I read Psalm 15. Again. Have you read Psalm 15? If so, can you see why I avoid it?  God brings me back to this passage repeatedly…He must be trying to tell me something…

Today’s reading is Psalm 15

Scripture: Those who live a blameless life, who behave uprightly, who speak truth from their hearts… Psalm 15:2

Observation:  Who can live in Your tabernacle…who can live on Your holy mountain? Who can abide in Your Presence? Those who live blamelessly…uprightly…truthfully…

Application:  Um…so doesn’t that mean no one can live there? Who really lives blamelessly? Is it the all-or-nothing-ness of the way my mind works that makes me think that blameless means perfect…no sin, no mistakes. Not humanly possible!! Isn’t this completely unfair?

The Strong’s entry for “uprightly”: 

from <H8552> (tamam); entire (literal, figurative or moral); also (as noun) integrity, truth :- without blemish, complete, full, perfect, sincerely (-ity), sound, without spot, undefiled, upright (-ly), whole.

—Strong's Talking Greek & Hebrew Dictionary

There it is…just as I suspected…“perfect”. But also, a glimmer of hope, as “sincere” is listed there. I know, and so does God, that perfect is impossible in this life. He also knows my heart, and that I sincerely want to “get it right.” Thankfully, His Son is my strength! Through Christ, I can do all things…even those that seem impossible. And because of His great mercy, there is forgiveness when I blow it.

I think that’s why I have not wanted to read this Psalm. It just seemed like an impossible standard…one more thing for me to use to beat myself up for not “measuring up”. I will never, in this body…in this life on earth…measure up to Christ, but it is still the goal for which I strive. To love others as He did. To walk in truth. To be so connected to the Father that everything I do and say is only what the Father does and says.

Lofty goals, to be sure. Unattainable, impossible…on my own. God always has a way of reminding me that apart from Him, I can do nothing. That I need Him as much as I need air, water and food.

Prayer:  Abba Father…thank you for finally helping me to overcome the dread at reading this passage. Thank You for helping me to see that it isn’t meant to belittle or demean me, but to encourage me to keep reaching for that goal of perfection in Christ. Thank You for Your great and tender mercy that you lavishly pour out when I blow it and seek your forgiveness…the one thing I always find when I look for it! Thank You that today, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.