Love, Lies and Internal Tapes

If you truly understood that God loves you, it would transform your life. Every area. You would never be the same again from the moment you accepted that truth. So why do so many people struggle with moving beyond “knowing” that God loves us (because, after all, that’s what the smiley faces tell us) and believing that He does?  What stands between reason and faith?

thoughts…

God’s word is full of His promises and His declaration of undying, unconditional love for us. We read it, we hear it on the radio, and in the pulpit on Sunday mornings.  Other people tell us.  And we even say it ourselves. But when we take a look at how we live what we believe, there is often a discrepancy between head-knowledge belief that God loves us and hearts that believe without a doubt that He does. And if we look very closely, and listen carefully, we will most likely see that while we know we should believe God loves us, and think we do, our internal dialogue tells a completely different story…

 “If God really loved me, He wouldn’t let me suffer like this…”

“God must love her more than me, look how “blessed” she is while I struggle just to get by…”

“God only loves me when I get it right…”

Our thoughts are a combination of endless input from those around us, from the media, from what we read or listen to. Our "original" concepts of ourselves and of God and others may not be as original as we think they are sometimes. Do the advertisements on TV tell you that you're too fat?  Did your father tell you that you were incompetent? Did your group of friends talk about the neighbor down the street at your last coffee klatch? Our minds take in so much data, and left to its own devices the mind can truly make a mess of all that information.

role models…

Our view of God as a Heavenly Father is often shaped by our experiences with our earthly fathers. If you father abandoned you, if he abused you, if he was harsh, demanding and critical, it can be hard to not think of God in the same light. Was your father loving, kind and supportive? How blessed you are! But even then, all it takes is a little seed planted at the right time and a harvest of doubt can be reaped.

lies and feelings…

There are at least two things that can get in the way of believing in your heart what your mind already knows. Lies and Feelings. Satan, who is the Father of Lies, is really good at whispering little questions in our ears…questions that get us to doubt the Truth of God’s word. "Did God really say that?” … “Is that really what He meant?” And sometimes, he’s not subtle at all…“He promised to meet all your needs, so where is He now that the mortgage is due and you don’t have the money to pay it?” Those little seeds of doubt can take root and grow into bitterness, envy, and anger at God.

Then there’s our Feelings. We’re supposed to have “childlike” faith, right? That’s what Jesus said:

“I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it” (Mark 10:15)

Receiving God’s love like a little child does not mean that we let our emotions, which are often immature, rule our decisions. We receive God’s love by believing that He loves us, just as our own children so readily believe that we love them. But, their immature emotions will often lead them to the conclusion that we don’t love them…if we don’t give them what they want or let them do something they want to do.  We have the same tendencies toward God at times, too. We need to readily believe, as a child, while exercising self-control over our emotions, as adults do…or should, anyway.

When we let our childlike Feelings reason for us in difficult situations, we can also end up feeling bitter, resentful and angry toward God. We can feel like he’s being mean…just like mom is a big meanie when she tells her three year old that he can’t have cookies for breakfast.  The child doesn’t understand that eating sugary, unhealthy cookies for breakfast can ruin his appetite for healthy, nourishing foods that his growing body needs to mature and to build a strong immune system to protect against illness. Mom is really looking out for his best interest, she is protecting him and showing him love – because she cares about even little things like that and because she knows something the child doesn’t. The lack of understanding on the child’s part does not change, diminish or remove the love of his mother.

take a look inside…and weed the garden

If you struggle with really believing that God loves you, take  look inside for a moment. Listen to yourself as you think about the difficult situations you face…what are you saying? Is it really true? Is it a lie? Examine your feelings, too…what are they telling you? Are they ruling your thoughts and decisions, or are they under control? And, ultimately, do the thoughts and feelings you have line up with what God’s word says? If not, you need to feast upon the word and intentionally spend time with God, letting Him reveal His true character to you…which is Love.

Anything that does not agree with God’s word is a lie. It will produce fruit in your life, if you allow it to take root and grow, but that fruit will be rotten and destructive. Take time every day to pull the weeds out of your heart and mind. Ask God to show you the things you believe that are contrary to His word.

be encouraged…

God’s love really is simple. It’s huge, it’s unconditional, it’s free. It’s ours for the receiving, if we will but just believe. Paul prayed that we would

…[be] rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height-- to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.    Ephesians 3:18-19

And while I believe it is impossible to fully understand, grasp and know the love of God in its entirety, I do believe it is possible to understand it as much as we are humanly capable. We define the ceiling of that understanding by what we choose to believe about God, about His love, and about ourselves.

“What a good earthly father would not do, God who is our Father would not do either; and what a good father ought to do, God who is our Father is absolutely sure to do.” ~ Hannah Whitall Smith

We Do It Our Way: Embracing Our Homeschool Style

Are you struggling in your homeschool? Maybe you're trying to put the square peg in the round hole...

I have finally come to grips with the fact that we are, indeed, unschoolers.  However, I have a passion for forms. I love charts, planning pages and the like, but truth be told, I end up either using them for a while then fizzling out or not using them at all. I have been pondering on whether or not I can truly consider myself to be an "unschooler" if I am using forms and charts and planning pages. 

Why not?

Unschooling is not the absence of schooling. It is allowing your child the freedom to learn whatever captures their interest. Bats. Crystals. Snakes. Underwater basket weaving. All of these things have educational merits. You can teach math with bats (Suzy had 5 bats fly into her hair and 3 got stuck. How many bats are in Suzy's hair?), geometry with crystals, and physical education with underwater basket weaving (and snakes, if you find yourself needing to run away from some...). Actually, these things are more caught than taught. My kids prefer to learn by doing rather than by sitting and cranking out worksheets. They learn by seeing, feeling, hearing, moving and asking questions. I love that!

So, how do you keep records while unschooling? What about lesson plans? 

Daily Lesson Plan:  wake up, live life, learn something along the way

Yet, there does need to be some structure. Children also need discipline...left to their own devices, they are inherently foolish.

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.   Proverbs 22:15 (NKJV)

Intelligent children listen to their parents; foolish children do their own thing.Proverbs 13:1 (The Message)

Intelligent unschooling parents, then, will be watchful for what interests their children and be mindful to guide their studies.  Just as guardrails on a road are not meant to restrict our driving fun but to keep us from danger so we can arrive at our destination safely, guidelines and discipline in the homeschool keep our children from their own inherent foolishness and keep them on the road to responsible, intelligent adulthood. And as parents, we need to be responsible...as homeschooling parents, we need to be responsible and accountable.

Our state does not require labor intensive record-keeping. Thank God for that! We are only required to keep an attendance record. However, I do believe it is foolish to not keep any records at all of what your children are learning simply because the state does not require it. Many well-meaning (and some not so well-meaning) but uninformed social service agents would view that as evidence of educational neglect. So, in the event of any questioning about your homeschool and whether you are actually teaching your children, you can alleviate any fears by showing that your children are, indeed, learning at the level in which they are capable. 

So, what about those forms and charts and planning pages that I love to love, only to end up hating to use? How can I use them to keep us as disciplined as we need to be and as accountable as I should be?

The trick is to find forms, charts and planning pages that work with our family's style. That satisfy my need for writing things down, without confining me to someone else's idea of proper record keeping.  After searching through tons of documents online...some really great forms and planning pages...I've come to realize that the trick, then, is to make my own...which, it just so happens, is one of my favorite hobbies. 

And so, I have decided to make all of my own record keeping forms. I'll test-run them over the next few weeks...as learning doesn't end here because the public school system says school is out. It's more relaxed, more fun, but there is still learning going on.

Today, I created my first PDF of a form I think will finally suit my style. It's a Daily Learning Log sheet, with ample space to write in what we did and to check off the subject areas that are covered. I can easily see at a glance if we have balanced learning going on or are neglecting other areas and can adjust accordingly.

Visit my page on Homeschool Launch to download this Daily Learning Log (there is one with subjects already included, and one blank for your own personalization). I plan to incorporate this sheet in my DIY Homeschool Planner for the coming year.  You can also find a TON of great forms for just about anything you need for your homeschool and homekeeping there.

Click here to check out my new unschooling planner! It's simple and flexible, and I think I'm going to love it!

Of course, this form may not suit your needs at all. That's ok...just find out what does. Then use it. You'll be a lot less frustrated and be much more successful at making learning fun, exciting and enticing for your children. How else can we raise up life-long learners?

SOAP Devotion: The Disciplined Mind

After using the SOAP format for a few weeks, I've found that I really like it. Well enough to switch my devotional posts over to a collaborative blog I'm doing with a dear friend of mine, where we are both searching for God's pure, unadulterated Truth.

I've begun studying a book by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free, along with the companion study Walking In The Truth. I'll be using the SOAP format to post what Truth God is revealing to me through this study.  Today, I learned about having a disciplined mind.

So, grab a cup of coffee and head on over to A Cup of Truth and join us as we discover just what Truth is...

A Cup of Truth:  The Disciplined Mind

Do you ever pay attention to your mind? Do you “take every thought captive”, as the Word admonishes? Or, are your thoughts running amok throughout the day? God doesn’t tell us to take our thoughts captive for no reason…we have an enemy bent on destroying us and all that we hold dear.  [read more here...]

SOAP Devotion: 2 Kings 8

If you are a Christ-follower, you probably want to be obedient to what God wants you to do, right? Of course, we all struggle with that spirit-led desire to truly follow Christ and our flesh’s desire to do whatever it wants. But what about when God tells us to do something that doesn’t seem to make sense? What about when He asks us to leave everything we know behind and go somewhere else? How quick are we to obey…and what are the consequences?

Today’s Reading is 2 Kings 8

Scripture:  The woman acted at once and did as the man of God had said - she went with her household and stayed in the land of the P'lishtim for seven years. 2 Kings 8:2

Observation:  The woman acted at once and did what God told her to do, through His servant. There was no questioning, no negotiating, no arguing…she just did what she was supposed to do. Later, everything she left behind was restored to her.

Application:  Sometimes God asks us to do things that don’t make sense…although in the case of the woman in this passage, leaving the land where she was because a famine was on the horizon definitely makes sense. But she had to leave her home, lands, income – everything she had known.  And it sounds like God left it up to her where to go, as Elisha told her to “Move away, you and your household, and stay wherever you can”(v. 1). The directive was simply to leave the land, with her household, because of the coming famine.

What is our response to God when He asks us, or tells us, to do something radical? Do we immediately obey or do we try to argue with God? Or negotiate? Maybe make some bargains…you know, “God, if You change Your mind on this, I promise I will (or will never do ______ again)…” Do we just decide not to do what God says and keep on going, pretending that we never heard what God said?

The woman immediately obeyed. She left everything and stayed gone for the seven years of the famine. What happened when she returned? A divine encounter! She came to the king to make a claim on her house and land which she had left behind. It just so happened that the king had just asked Elisha’s servant to tell him of the great things Elisha had done, and the servant was telling him about the woman whose dead son was brought back to life. She was that woman! And the king appointed a special officer and told him:

"Restore everything that belongs to her, including the income her fields have produced from the day she left them until now."

Did you catch that? Not only did he restore her home and land, but all the income she had lost out on for seven years! I don’t know how much that is…I imagine it was quite a bit, as she was a  wealthy woman, but seven years’ income in a lump sum would be welcome in my home, that’s for sure!  And she went to the king to make a claim on what was rightfully hers…not to beg for it to be returned.

God knew what was best for her and her household. He told her to leave and she quickly obeyed. What if she hadn’t? What if she had dragged her feet? Delayed obedience is still disobedience. What blessings would she have missed out on by doing that? What blessings do we miss out on because we do not immediately obey?  If God has told us to go, and we stay, we have no right to complain about our circumstances. We had the chance to get out of the famine, but we chose to go our own way…and chose the consequences ourselves.  We can’t blame God for that.

We can’t let fear rule our decision making. Even when something doesn’t seem to make sense, we must remember that God knows our end from our beginning. He knows what is coming down the road, regardless of whether or not we can see it. We have to trust that He has our best interest at heart, that He knows what is best for us and our family, and that He would never ask us to leave something behind without already having made provision for its restoration…and then some…in the future. When we need it. At just the right time. And we don’t have to beg for it…

Prayer:  Father, you know what I am struggling with inside. I believe You have asked us to do something, and we have not done it. Partly out of fear, partly out of doubting our ability to hear You, but if we’re honest we’d probably say mostly because we just didn’t want to do it. There seems to be famine in the land, but we chose to stay in it. Forgive us for not quickly obeying! Help us overcome the fear and the willfulness of our own flesh. Help us to have confidence in our ability to hear You, so we can quickly obey without question. And Father, I thank You now for the provision You have ordained for us as we move forward in Your will.

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SOAP Devotion: Daniel 1

Recently, I heard a teaching on resolving your Yes’s and your No’s…saying yes to the things that encourage growth in your walk with the Lord and saying no to the things that hinder it. Daniel an excellent example of doing just that. It all starts with a choice…

Today’s Reading is Daniel 1

Scripture: But Dani'el resolved that he would not defile himself with the king's food or the wine he drank, so he asked the chief officer to be excused from defiling himself. Daniel 1:8

Observation:  We live in a world that has set itself against God. It is up to us to choose to follow His ways or the world’s. We must purpose, or resolve, in our hearts to obey the ways of the Lord. And when we do, He blesses us and leads us through whatever comes our way.

Application:  This message was good to hear. It’s making me think about what I purpose in my heart to do or not do. We were to make a Yes List (things that encourage growth and intimacy with the Lord) and a No List (things that hinder growth and intimacy) and honestly, I’m having a hard time coming up with a No List. Not that I’m so perfect  I never do anything wrong…quite the contrary! But I’m not out there every day lying, stealing, cheating on my husband or killing people, so I have to really look at what I’m doing or not doing that hinders my walk with the Lord. It’s just not that obvious to me. Maybe it is to someone else…they have that unique advantage of being able to see what I don’t! But, there are “little foxes” that nibble on the vine and destroy it over time. It’s those little, subtle things that draw me away from God or get between Him and I that I need to diligently seek out and remove from my life.

The Yes List is so much easier…more prayer, more time in the word, more self-control, more grace for myself when I fail. I know that as I seek His heart, He will show me what needs to be on the No List…and then I have to make that choice. I have to be like Daniel and purpose in my heart to avoid those things no matter what others around me may think or say. God’s opinion of me is the one that matters first and the most. Daniel was blessed, promoted and prospered because he decided from the beginning that he would not do anything that would compromise his beliefs or go against God's ways.

Prayer:  Father, show me what needs to be on that No List! What am I doing or not doing that gets in the way? What thought patterns and attitudes are hindering my ability to hear from you? What little foxes have gotten into my heart?  Help me to always be able to resolve in my heart to follow you no matter what happens or what others think. Help me always to put You and Your ways first

SOAP Devotion: Isaiah 6

Do you remember times in your life when you eagerly wished to be chosen for something?  In school, you might have wanted to be picked for a sports team, a play, or just to be on the right side of the dodgeball game. As an adult, maybe you wanted to be picked for a job, to win a prize or some other exciting thing. And probably, there were others clamoring for the same thing. How many times can you remember being the only one saying “pick me!” Serving God isn’t always glamorous or easy, and often times the assignments can be difficult. But are you willing to say “pick me, Lord” when no one else is?

Today’s Reading Is Isaiah 6

Scripture: And I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then I said, Here am I; send me. Isaiah 6:8

Observation:  God is looking for those who are willing to go where He sends them. His call is to all who will hear and heed…am I listening? Am I willing to put up my hand and say “pick me, Lord!”?

Application:  I can’t say I’m one of those people who is always out in the forefront…wanting to be noticed or picked for things. I like staying home in my nice little world and not being bothered by things around me. But that is not what God wants me to do…to cocoon myself away and not participate in the world. Sure, we are not to be “of this world”, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t to be in it. Aren’t we urged to be salt and light in the world? Salt doesn’t do much tucked away in the cupboard, and a light hidden in a closet isn’t being used to its full potential, either.

As I read this passage this morning, I was  convicted of my selfish desire to shelter those I love and also be sheltered myself from all the evils of the world. I’m certainly not advocating throwing caution and wisdom out of the window…there is definitely a need for that, especially when it comes to young children. But do I make myself available to go where God says to go and do what He says to do? Do I talk to a stranger or offer to pray with someone I don’t know very well, or am I afraid to step out of my comfortable little zone?  I have something amazing and wonderful – a life redeemed and restored by a loving Heavenly Father – that is meant to be shared with others, not hidden away for just myself.

I think there are a lot of believers out there who are right where I am. But who among us will be willing to lift our hand and say, like Isaiah, “Here I am, Lord…send me”?  If we wait for others to do it, chances are it won’t get done…at least not near as quickly as if there are many willing hands to do the job. Will I have the courage to raise my hand…and really mean it?  Will I have the quiet spirit and mind that I need to hear the invitation and the instruction? Only if I purposely quiet my spirit and mind and actively listen to what the Father is saying to me each day. Then I must choose to be chosen, regardless of the cost.

Prayer:  Father, forgive me for selfishly hiding the wonderful gift you’ve given me! Help me to overcome my fears, give me boldness to share what You’ve blessed me with with others. Help me to be willing to say “pick me”, no matter what the cost. And please, help me have the quiet, receptive mind and spirit I need to hear You every moment of every day.

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SOAP Devotion: 1 Corinthians 3

What kind of materials are we using as we build on the foundations laid in people’s lives? What kind of foundation have we laid in our children’s lives? Every word, every action is like a brick, a 2 x 4, a nail…all building and shaping who our children become. I know I’m only “supposed” to use one verse, but these two need to go together, so I’m cheating a little bit…

Today’s reading is 1 Corinthians 3

Scripture:  Some will use gold, silver or precious stones in building on this foundation; while others will use wood, grass or straw. 13 But each one's work will be shown for what it is; the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire - the fire will test the quality of each one's work.  1 Corinthians 3:12-13

Observation: Everything we do or say influences and builds on another’s foundation. From the moment our children are born, we are laying a foundation and building upon it. What materials will we use? Anything made of wood, grass or straw will burn up and not last, and it will not make the structure stronger, but weaker. The same is true for me…others have built on the foundation of my life. What is wood, grass or straw…what is gold, silver and precious stones?

Application: As I read this, I thought of both what I’ve used to build in my children’s lives and what has been used to build in my own life growing up. It hasn’t all been gold, silver and precious stones. There is comfort in knowing that it will be burned up at some point…but that seems like such a waste. Can it be removed and replaced with gold, silver and precious stones that will not be burned away?

Buildings can be restored. It can take a long time and a lot of work, but it can be done. Repairing mistakes and damage before the building is finished seems like it would be much easier than after the building is done…after it has aged and weathered and settled.

Following the blueprints and directions will ensure the building is built soundly and correctly. Even when the ground shakes, the building can stand. But when the building is built haphazardly, not to code, and with substandard materials…even the smallest shaking or adverse conditions can cause the building to be damaged or be destroyed.

God’s Word and Holy Spirit are the blueprints and directions we are to follow when raising our children. The gold, silver and precious stones we are to use are all of the good things of God – love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control – that shape and build their hearts, minds, souls and character into the people that He has designed them to be.

While we can’t control what others do, and unfortunately there will be “non-union” workers who show up on the job, we do have control over what we choose to do and say and where we allow our children to be. As they get older, we have to let them go a little bit…and trust that the foundation we laid and have built upon is strong and sturdy.

God allows us to build as we wish…but we then have to accept the consequences, and pay the price, for not following the directions.  I’m so glad that he is not like some earthly bosses who will fire you for making mistakes…His grace is abundant and mercy unceasing. But I have to remember it’s not just me that is affected here…my children are, and potentially my grandchildren. I must be purposeful in my parenting, and must strive to always follow the blueprints and the directions while building upon my children’s hearts, minds and souls.

Prayer:  Father, I so wish I wasn’t just “getting” this concept now. My precious daughter, whom You used to turn me back to You, is now almost 11 years old. 11 years of not always following the blueprint for her life. 11 years of not always seeking Your direction in how to parent her. I know I have used some wood, grass and straw to build in her life…please help me find it and remove it so it can be replaced with what is truly valuable and lasting. And my son, too…even he, in his short 3 years, has had some substandard material added to his foundation. Forgive me, Lord, for not always taking seriously this job before me…for letting my own wants and desires cause me to use anything but precious metals and stones to build in their lives. Help me to restore what has not been done correctly so that they are standing upon a strong, solid, and impermeable foundation. And Lord...help me remove in me what was laid there by others that doesn't belong and weakens this temple of yours. Replace it with what it good, pure and true and will last for eternity.

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