Conversations With Preschoolers: Applesauce

The following is a real, actual conversation with a real, actual preschooler. It is a great example of the conversations that I have on a regular basis, particularly with this preschooler. They always leave me feeling a little dizzy and like I’d just been sideswiped by an invisible sock monster. Or something equally absurd… 

THE PLAYERS

Preschooler #1 is also known as Mister, but he’s not acting in this scene. Preschooler #2 is not related to us at all, she hangs out at our house frequently. The 11 Year Old is my moody daughter.

SETTING THE STAGE

The 11 Year Old came out into the kitchen and spied some organic cinnamon applesauce, recently purchased at a lovely clearance price. She asks, “can I have some applesauce?” Since we had just had a hearty quinoa breakfast, I said “not right now.” Then I went into my bedroom to gather up laundry…

SCENE 1 

PRESCHOOLER #2: Dawn…
ME: What?
PRESCHOOLER #2: Can I have some applesauce?
ME: What?
PRESCHOOLER #2: Can I have some applesauce?
ME: I just told The 11 Year Old she could not have applesauce, why do you think you can have some?
PRESCHOOLER #2: Well, we want some stickers!

CURTAIN 

If there is a connection between applesauce and stickers, I can not figure out what it could be. I just looked at her and shook my head.

We have conversations like this a lot. I shake my head…a lot.

I guess I’ve not been a preschooler far too long, their world just doesn’t make sense anymore! They sure do keep things interesting…I guess there is nothing wrong with searching for a common factor between forbidden applesauce and stickers. Who knows, it might just end up curing cancer. Or causing Democrats and Republicans to put aside their differences and actually work together for the good of the country. Or eliminate the National Debt. Or some other impossibility…